Consequence jokes
Wow, Aiden, maybe you've been mean to Tenya. She is hurting, close to killing herself, but hey, I can pick your ass since, ya know, that is what I do!
Yo mama is so huge, when she was born everyone died.
Abortions are a way for whores to dodge accountability.
What do Michael Vick and John Wick have in common?
Got into deep shit when it came to dogs.
I was going to charge my phone, so I pulled a plug and put it in. Then, my grandpa wasn't breathing anymore.
My ex broke up with me the day before his birthday. Yeah, he never got to see anything on his birthday. Next thing you know, I'm now in prison.
Three men were lost in the desert and found a genie who granted each of them a wish.
The 1st man wished he was home with his family. The 2nd man wished he was home with his family, and the 3rd man wished they were all back together again.
Yo mama so fat...
That when she used a jump rope... Every time she jumped caused a giant cataclysm!
Yo mama so fat that when she sits, she makes a 7.4 earthquake.
Violence breeds violence, nothing else.
We forge the chains we wear in life.
Listen, if my mom sees me on Roblox at 3 a.m., she said she would bang my head against the keyboardndfndfnnckvnksdvknkdsfnvbfw.
Kid: I want to be like Batman.
Genie: I can make arrangements. The kid comes home, both of his parents are dead.
Genie: I told you.
Kid: .............................................
What's the difference between a joke and a tragedy? Timing.
When you accidentally make your joke too dirty and get in shit from Explain Bear.
Yesterday, my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. So to teach her a lesson, I said, "Just for that, you don't get any butter for a month."
Today in the kitchen, she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try!"
So you wanna play like that, ayy? Well, Sydney didn't wanna play like that either, and that's why you got arrested.
I pushed a handicapped orphan out of his wheelchair. Who is he gonna tell, his parents?
Mom: Go clean your room, Little Johnny.
Little Johnny: No, it’s my room.
Mom: Well, it’s my house.
Little Johnny: Then go clean it.
Mom: Go to school!
At school:
Teacher: Hi, Little Johnny. You’re late.
Little Johnny: Watch because my son of a bitch mom told me to clean her room. I told her no, it’s my room, and then she said, 'Well, it’s my house.' Then I said, 'Go clean it,' and then she told me to go to school.
Teacher: Johnny, go to the principal’s office! You just came into school and now you're causing trouble. Go!
An autistic kid hit me, so I kicked him back and he died.