Conflict jokes
A man wakes up and asks his wife, “Are you okay? You were cursing me all night in your sleep.” The wife replies, “Who says I was sleeping?”
I don't beat up midgets.
That would be punching down.
How would negotiations between Putin and Zelensky play out?
QUEUE THE MUSIC
BANG BANG INTO THE ROOM I KNOW U WANT IT
What do you call two guys fighting over a slut?
Tug of whore.
Ukrainians leave without saying goodbye.
Russians say goodbye without leaving.
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
Palestinians leave without saying goodbye.
Israel says goodbye when the Americans say so.
It's a shame Iran doesn't know how to restrain Israel. If only they had Hitler's expertise.
Now he really would be THE FINAL SOLUTION!
What makes an ISIS joke funny?
The execution.
I joined ISIS to help my self-esteem issues.
Everyone kept telling me, "You’re the bomb!"
What's the difference between a Syrian kindergarten and an ISIS hospital?
I wouldn't know, I'm just the drone operator.
Mickey Mouse is speaking with a divorce attorney...
...and the attorney says, "I'm sorry Mickey, I've gone over all of Minnie's medical history and I find no evidence of mental illness."
To which Mickey replies, "I didn't say she's crazy! I said she's fucking Goofy!"
Why did the rapper refuse to write a diss track?
He didn’t want to start beef, he’s VEGAN.
Know the nuclear bombs of the world.
🇷🇺🧨 a “bad” bomb
🇨🇳🧨 “ww3”
🇬🇧🧨 a “good” bomb
🇺🇸🧨 Japanese area testing
🇮🇱🧨 what bomb
🇮🇷🧨 just self defence
How was copper wire invented?
Two Jewish people fighting over a penny.
Israel and Palestine jokes are hard at these times.
It’s all about execution.
Why was 2019 afraid of 2020?
Because they had a fight, and 2021.
How do you break up a fight between two gay men?
Say, "Can you get straight to the point?"
Why don't butts get along?
Because they can't stand each other's cheek!
What is a terrorist's first move in chess?
C4.