Conflict jokes
Just told Putin to get some b*tches.
Waiting for 3801 missiles to strike my house.
John and Chloe are in school arguing about who has the more heroic grandfather.
Chloe says, "My grandfather killed 50 Nazis, he's so heroic!"
John says, "So what? My grandfather KILLED Hitler!"
We all know yo homie bout to hop in a fight when:
1. He staring mighty hard at y'all.
2. When your friend know you gon get your ass beat.
3. When your friend say he not gon jump in (you know he lying).
Yo momma so fat that she was used as a tank in Putin's war.
Why did Hitler kill himself? Because the air was gas.
My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.
What did the Taliban say to the Afghan?
Nothing, they blew him up.
What sounds did the Ukraine people make in basketball? Ka-boom!
My mom tells me when I get into an argument with her that she brought me into this world and she can take me out. Sometimes I wanna tell her that I can do that for her.
Russia: "Silence."
Ukraine: Help...
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Special forces.
When the guy next to you says that he kind of agrees with the villain.
Me watching a World War 2 documentary.
Me: "The villain has a point, you know."
Everyone else watching the WW2 documentary:
Why did the terrorist not go undercover?
Because he blew it!
Who are the best at bowling?
Terrorists, they always throw strikes.
In Syria, there are no Walmarts, only Targets.
"Pootin is a pussy won't even fight in the war that he started!"
"Pootin is a pussy and Ukraine is beating Russia's ass!"
How do you kill a Hindu? PRESS THE RED BUTTON.
Violence is never the answer:
It's the solution.
I was beefing with a dude in a wheelchair, so I took his wheelchair and threw it across the street and told him, "Walk it off, you will be fine."