Conflict jokes
What do children with cancer and Russian soldiers have in common? Their life doesn't last long.
Mom, how were hoomans made? Son, it’s because Adam and Eve were brought down by God and made babies!
Dad, how were hoomans made? Son, us humans evolved from monkeys!
Mom, Dad said hoomans were evolved from monkeys, is that true? Oh son, (ruffles smol man’s hair) your dad was telling you his side of the family, and I was telling my side :)
What's full of lard and is reserved as Putin's cannon fodder?
Your mum!!!
If anyone ever makes a time machine, please make a bunker for Hitler/the Nazis and send them to 2050. I want to see who would die first, future us or them.
Why are there so many scars and cuts on your arm?
Because it's a battlefield.
Zelensky: I'm begging for Russian forces to withdraw from the whole of Ukraine.
Putin: Crimea river.
There's no smoke or fire without a Muslim.
Your momma's so fat that she's used goods, like the Russian tanks.
Qassem Soleimani is so popular today.
I mean, he just blew up overnight!
1 like = 1 more missile aimed at a hospital.
"You cannot win a war without a war."
-Sun Tzu, *The Art Of War*
"If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."
Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
Roses are red, violets are blue, the last time people got depressed ended World War II.
Why were the twin towers fighting?
Because they ordered pepperoni but got plain.
Shout out to the terrorists, your year is starting off with a bang!
When Hitler killed himself, he shot himself twice. The first one was Operation Barbarossa, and the second one was his death.
I could have sworn while watching anime I saw an American Boeing B-29 Superfortress in the background dropping bombs!
*America shoots down balloon*
China: "You killed an innocent man!!"
USA: "What?!"
China: "Yes, he was a famous sumo wrestler."
Why did the Japanese NOT shoot down the American plane that was dropping atomic bombs?
From what their eyes saw, it was a piece of rice.
I went up to my mom and asked how humanity started. She said it started with monkeys, so I went up to my dad and asked. My dad said it all started with Adam and Eve, so I told my dad that mom said humanity started with monkeys, and dad said mom was telling her side of the story. LOL🤣