Conflict jokes
What’s the difference between a school and an ISIS hideout?
I don’t know, I just fly the drone.
What's the difference between a feminist and Hitler?
Both were good at starting wars, only difference was Hitler knew when to kill himself afterwards.
Why did England beat Germany in World War Two?
Scissors beat paper.
*World War 2 going on and then stops.*
Me: "I guess you would say it was a gory-ious battle."
Roses are red. He shows no remorse.
Santa Claus Has joined the terrorist force.
Best way to stop a fight between deaf people?
Just turn off the lights.
Nobody:
The Vietcong when America lands on their beaches:
tReE pOwErS aCtIvAtE!
Iran? More like tin can, cause we’re going to kick their teeth in, am I right?
What is the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani primary school?
I don't know... I just fly the drone.
If you're in a roast battle with a homophobe and they are talking mad shit, just say:
"The only thing looser than your mouth is your asshole!"
What do sheep hate?
Their enemies: goats!
What's a cow's favorite war?
World War Moo.
If two vegetarians get into a fight, is it still called a beef?
Why did the skeleton start a fight? Because he had a bone to pick.
How does an American know that his time has come?
He starts hearing Vietnamese.
War isn't about who's right. It's about who's left.
Three Nazis walk into a bar.
It's sad how families can be torn apart from something as simple as wild dogs.
I told my friend that someone accused him of blowing dead bears. I said I defended him by responding that I saw 1 get up and walk away.
How did the British lose the War of 1812?
They were out-Britshed.