Conflict

Conflict jokes

So one time I was looking up the definition of "accident" because I was a little dumbo and didn’t know what it meant. Then my sister walks up behind me and points at the word and says, “That’s you!” (meaning that I was an accident).

A few minutes later, we had a big family meeting and my dad said to my sister, “Sweetie, you were an accident. We didn’t mean to make you, but we still love you with everything we’ve got.”

My sister never talked to me again and left the house. She was 17 when she left. Seriously, 17-year-olds just never mature, huh?

"You da bomb!" "No, you da bomb!"

In the US, a compliment. In the Middle East, an argument.

What’s the difference between a school and an ISIS hideout?

I don’t know, I just fly the drone.

What's the difference between a feminist and Hitler?

Both were good at starting wars, only difference was Hitler knew when to kill himself afterwards.

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    • What is the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani primary school?

    I don't know... I just fly the drone.

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    • If you're in a roast battle with a homophobe and they are talking mad shit, just say:

    "The only thing looser than your mouth is your asshole!"

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