Conflict jokes
Roses are red. He shows no remorse.
Santa Claus Has joined the terrorist force.
Best way to stop a fight between deaf people?
Just turn off the lights.
Nobody:
The Vietcong when America lands on their beaches:
tReE pOwErS aCtIvAtE!
Iran? More like tin can, cause we’re going to kick their teeth in, am I right?
What is the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani primary school?
I don't know... I just fly the drone.
If you're in a roast battle with a homophobe and they are talking mad shit, just say:
"The only thing looser than your mouth is your asshole!"
What do sheep hate?
Their enemies: goats!
What's a cow's favorite war?
World War Moo.
If two vegetarians get into a fight, is it still called a beef?
Why did the skeleton start a fight? Because he had a bone to pick.
How does an American know that his time has come?
He starts hearing Vietnamese.
War isn't about who's right. It's about who's left.
Three Nazis walk into a bar.
It's sad how families can be torn apart from something as simple as wild dogs.
I told my friend that someone accused him of blowing dead bears. I said I defended him by responding that I saw 1 get up and walk away.
How did the British lose the War of 1812?
They were out-Britshed.
One weekend some distant family members that I hadn't met before came over. My cousins (who I also hadn't met before) were fighting, so I decided to separate them and place them in opposite corners of the room (thinking it would help).
My mom took me to an empty room with tears in her eyes and told me they both ended up dying.
Well, SO-RRY, but I didn't know they were conjoined twins.
Did you know my grandpa was part of World War 2? He killed Hitler.
When someone asks you for a beef (fight), just say you're a vegetarian.
Max Heart and his gay cousin Nickals Amoto say I back out of a fight. When he said let's fight, then last minute he said he doesn't want to, then says I chickened out. I [was] ready to fight, but his gut [was] swollen [and] his arms [were]. He actually looks like Humpty Dumpty, but [I] just wanted to say he backed out + Max and Nickals are both gay with each other.