Conflict jokes
Women understand each other.
That’s why they argue.
During the Wintery Wackiness Wars!
A Soviet Sergeant, stationed stilly near a sloped summit with his silly soldiers!
Then a shout sails from the tippy-top: "A Finnish fighter's fantastic force fractures a hundred heroic Honchos!"
The Kommandant's kerfuffle commences, commanding a caravan of one hundred comrades to conquer the crest!
Nifty navigation notes nil, the nasty news nabs many! After an Hour, hush descends. The high voice hollers, "A Finnish fighter's fantastic force fractures a thousand heroic Honchos!"
Kommander fumes, forcing a further flurry, flinging one thousand fine fellows skyward!
Nearly two hours now and the noisy nuisance ceases, then the shouting starts: "A Finnish fighter's fantastic force fractures ten thousand heroic Honchos!"
The Kommandant kaput! Ten thousand troopers take the trek, taking tanks, trundling skyward, to take the terrain!
Four fearsome, fretful hours then a soldier in tatters comes tumbling, talking: "Stop sending up soldiers, sir! There's two Finns fighting fiercely!"
Welcome to politics: You lie to fight and fight to lie.
What do you call a terrorist attack in Iraq? A selfie!
Why does everyone say there are mines in Bosnia? There are no-
A black n***a crashes a neighborhood barbecue, bragging about his 'hood credentials' while hogging all the ribs and collard greens. The host calls him out, 'Yo, pay up or get out. Ain't no freebies here.' He laughs it off, 'Man, I run this block!' But the host's burly brother, who's been grilling the whole time, snarls, 'Wrong, fool. Time to settle the score.' He pins him against the picnic table, wraps a chain leash around his neck from the dog run, edges him with a vibrating basting brush slathered in hot sauce, and then plows his ass deep and hard, grunting, 'Now you're the main course, spicier than the jerk chicken!'
You know the saying, "Third time's the charm?"
Well, Germany lost twice.
What do Israel and Epstein have in common?
"Look at that, time to blow up some kids."
What do you call two homeless people throwing rocks at each other?
A pillow fight.
A man wakes up and asks his wife, “Are you okay? You were cursing me all night in your sleep.” The wife replies, “Who says I was sleeping?”
I don't beat up midgets.
That would be punching down.
How would negotiations between Putin and Zelensky play out?
QUEUE THE MUSIC
BANG BANG INTO THE ROOM I KNOW U WANT IT
What do you call two guys fighting over a slut?
Tug of whore.
Ukrainians leave without saying goodbye.
Russians say goodbye without leaving.
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
Palestinians leave without saying goodbye.
Israel says goodbye when the Americans say so.
It's a shame Iran doesn't know how to restrain Israel. If only they had Hitler's expertise.
Now he really would be THE FINAL SOLUTION!
What makes an ISIS joke funny?
The execution.
I joined ISIS to help my self-esteem issues.
Everyone kept telling me, "You’re the bomb!"
What's the difference between a Syrian kindergarten and an ISIS hospital?
I wouldn't know, I'm just the drone operator.