Conflict jokes
What do Israel and Epstein have in common?
"Look at that, time to blow up some kids."
What do you call two homeless people throwing rocks at each other?
A pillow fight.
A man wakes up and asks his wife, “Are you okay? You were cursing me all night in your sleep.” The wife replies, “Who says I was sleeping?”
I don't beat up midgets.
That would be punching down.
How would negotiations between Putin and Zelensky play out?
QUEUE THE MUSIC
BANG BANG INTO THE ROOM I KNOW U WANT IT
What do you call two guys fighting over a slut?
Tug of whore.
Ukrainians leave without saying goodbye.
Russians say goodbye without leaving.
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
Palestinians leave without saying goodbye.
Israel says goodbye when the Americans say so.
It's a shame Iran doesn't know how to restrain Israel. If only they had Hitler's expertise.
Now he really would be THE FINAL SOLUTION!
What makes an ISIS joke funny?
The execution.
I joined ISIS to help my self-esteem issues.
Everyone kept telling me, "You’re the bomb!"
What's the difference between a Syrian kindergarten and an ISIS hospital?
I wouldn't know, I'm just the drone operator.
Mickey Mouse is speaking with a divorce attorney...
...and the attorney says, "I'm sorry Mickey, I've gone over all of Minnie's medical history and I find no evidence of mental illness."
To which Mickey replies, "I didn't say she's crazy! I said she's fucking Goofy!"
Why did the rapper refuse to write a diss track?
He didn’t want to start beef, he’s VEGAN.
Know the nuclear bombs of the world.
🇷🇺🧨 a “bad” bomb
🇨🇳🧨 “ww3”
🇬🇧🧨 a “good” bomb
🇺🇸🧨 Japanese area testing
🇮🇱🧨 what bomb
🇮🇷🧨 just self defence
How was copper wire invented?
Two Jewish people fighting over a penny.
Israel and Palestine jokes are hard at these times.
It’s all about execution.
Why was 2019 afraid of 2020?
Because they had a fight, and 2021.
How do you break up a fight between two gay men?
Say, "Can you get straight to the point?"