Comparison jokes
What do an orphan's parents and the Predator have in common?
They are both invisible.
I like my coffee like I like my women.
Big tits.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought Voldemort was ugly, but then I met you.
Blood may be thicker than water, but yo mama is thicker than anything!
Your hairline is so ugly, I thought you were Shrek!
Life is like a box of chocolates; it doesn’t last long for people.
What do a penis and a Rubik's Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Roses are red, Your blood is too. You look like a monkey and belong in a zoo.
Do not worry, I will be there too, Not in a cage but laughing at you!
Your forehead is so big, I thought you were Megamind for a second there.
You look like a burger.
What is the difference between a retard and a zombie anyway?
They’re always hungry and shuffle around aimlessly, moaning... Oh, and it takes a bullet in the forehead to put them both down.
Uh!!!
What’s the difference between a firefighter and Snoop Dogg?
Snoop Dogg inhaled less smoke during 9/11.
Yo forehead so big it makes Megamind's forehead small.
Your forehead is so big, Megamind thought he was your long lost sibling.
What’s the comparison of an emo and a highlighter?
You can pop their head off.
I am not a nerd ;). I'm just smarter than you.
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the walls.
What is the difference between a rock and my girlfriend?
One is rock hard, and the other is Dwayne Johnson.
What did Schrödinger say to Shakespeare?
"To be and not to be."
What's the difference between a Demon and a Redhead?
The Demon at least has a trade offer.