Comparison jokes
Yo mama is so ugly, she made dirt look like a supermodel.
Girls: 🙏 *Period* ✍️💅
Men: 🗿 *Growth* 🗿🗿🗿
Roses are red, Your blood is too. You look like a monkey and belong in a zoo.
Do not worry, I will be there too, Not in a cage but laughing at you!
Your forehead is so big, I thought you were Megamind for a second there.
You look like a burger.
Memes
What is the difference between a retard and a zombie anyway?
They’re always hungry and shuffle around aimlessly, moaning... Oh, and it takes a bullet in the forehead to put them both down.
Uh!!!
What did Schrödinger say to Shakespeare?
"To be and not to be."
What is the difference between a rock and my girlfriend?
One is rock hard, and the other is Dwayne Johnson.
I am not a nerd ;). I'm just smarter than you.
Yo forehead so big it makes Megamind's forehead small.
Your forehead is so big, Megamind thought he was your long lost sibling.
What’s the comparison of an emo and a highlighter?
You can pop their head off.
What's the difference between a cat and a human? About 500 bullets.
What's the difference between a Demon and a Redhead?
The Demon at least has a trade offer.
What does a woman’s pussy and a chainsaw have in common?
Miss by a few inches and you’re in deep shit.
I was riding ya mom... LIKE SHE’S MARIO KART!
What does an eighty-year-old woman have in between her boobs that a twenty-year-old woman doesn't?
A belly button.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
120 pounds.
Q. What's the difference between pizza and an emo?
A. The pizza doesn't cut itself.
Q: What's the difference between a CEO and a beer can?
A: Beer cans don't bleed when they get shot.