Comparison jokes

What do an orphan's parents and the Predator have in common?

They are both invisible.

Your forehead is so clear, like the Liberty Bell manual in 1876.

Sometimes when I think I'm ugly, I just think of my sister and it makes me feel better.

Women have less rights than a NASCAR track.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought Voldemort was ugly, but then I met you.

What’s the difference between life and a rape joke?

Life fucks you until you stop breathing; a rape joke fucks you until it’s not funny anymore.

Roses are red, Your blood is too. You look like a monkey and belong in a zoo.

Do not worry, I will be there too, Not in a cage but laughing at you!

Your forehead is so big, I thought you were Megamind for a second there.

You look like a burger.

What is the difference between a retard and a zombie anyway?

They’re always hungry and shuffle around aimlessly, moaning... Oh, and it takes a bullet in the forehead to put them both down.

Uh!!!

What’s the difference between a firefighter and Snoop Dogg?

Snoop Dogg inhaled less smoke during 9/11.

Yo forehead so big it makes Megamind's forehead small.

What’s the comparison of an emo and a highlighter?

You can pop their head off.

Your forehead is so big, Megamind thought he was your long lost sibling.

What is the difference between a rock and my girlfriend?

One is rock hard, and the other is Dwayne Johnson.

I am not a nerd ;). I'm just smarter than you.

What did Schrödinger say to Shakespeare?

"To be and not to be."

What's the difference between a Demon and a Redhead?

The Demon at least has a trade offer.

I was riding ya mom... LIKE SHE’S MARIO KART!

What does a woman’s pussy and a chainsaw have in common?

Miss by a few inches and you’re in deep shit.