Yo head so freaking small, people thought it was an expired grape.
Your mom is so fat nobody can compare her to anything.
I have a friend of mine from school. I always see them with bangs, so I never knew what their forehead looked like until one day they came... Their forehead was bigger than Mount Everest, that you can make an entire Olympics mountain climbing audition on that forehead! :)
What’s the difference between me and Glow In The Dark Intelligent Putty? The putty’s intelligent!
Yo mama is so ugly, even the ugliest person in the world looked like a sword standing next to her.
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
Head look like a mf gorilla pop.
Your so fat, my sister said. I said, "So at least I ain't fatter than your momma."
How come your sister is hotter than you? Funny, huh?
Yo mama's so fat that when Legolas killed her, Gimli counted her for two.
What's the difference between me and you?
Nothing, the fudge you expected ni-
Little Johnny was walking down a dirt country road, and he came upon an old farmer leaning against a fence looking sad, shaking his head. He walked up to the old farmer and asked him what's wrong. The old farmer said, "My mule, he just won't do nothing. He don't work anymore, always looking sad, barely eats, just sad." Little Johnny said, "Can I go talk to him?" "Sure," the old farmer said, "he's back in the barn." Little Johnny went back in the barn, saw the mule just sad, and sighing. A few minutes later, Little Johnny came out and said, "Your mule is fixed." The old farmer ran in, and saw the mule laughing, just rolling, and crying laughing. "Thank you, thank you," the old farmer said, and Little Johnny was on his way. Well, a few days later, Little Johnny was walking down the same old dirt road, and came upon the old farmer again, looking sad. "What's the matter?" Little Johnny asked. "It's my mule again. Ever since you talked to him, he won't do nothing, he won't work, just laughing all day. What did you say?" "Can I go in and talk to him again?" Little Johnny asked. "Sure," said the old farmer, "he's back in the barn." Little Johnny went in the barn and a few minutes later came back out. "Your mule is fixed, sir." The old farmer went in and saw the mule crying, crying really hard. The old farmer came running out of the barn, "Hey boy! What did you say to my mule? One day he's sad, then laughing, now he's crying. Just what did you say to my mule?" Little Johnny smiled and answered, "Well, the first time I told him my dick was bigger than his; this time I showed it to him."
Bro, you can't be talking. You built like Barney the dinosaur. Barney is a dinosaur with dinosaur sensation.
I am soooooooo cute like Harish, I lo[ve].
What do you get when you cross a cow and the Kool-Aid Man? Donald Trump, cuz of his red face and juicy tits.
Yo hairline is so long it makes the Titanic look tiny.
What do Rapboat and Caseoh have in common?
They're both chubby.
It’s nice hitting it from the back when my wife has wide hips.
Her butt cheeks look like big huge ball sacks as my thighs smack up against them when I’m thrusting. I like to finish off by grinding my weiner up and down her back like a gay man frotting his schlong on his partner’s ding dong.
Yo mama is so short, Minions look down at her.
Yo mama is so fat that she volunteered for the Hunger Games 'cause she thought it was an eating competition.
Yo mama is so ugly when Santa Claus saw her, he yelled "Ho Ho Holy Sh*t!"
Yo mama is so old, when she walked into an antique store, they didn't let her leave.
Yo mama is so stupid, she sold her car for gas money.
What does my head and hell have in common?
They both have demons in them.
