Comparison jokes

Your hairline is more bent than James Charles' gender.

You're so bald, Bob Hope would refer to you as "grandpa."

Q: I often think I'm ugly, but then I think of my sister and get over it.

You are so fat that Big Chungus looks like a small Chungus.

Your mama so fat, Jupiter is smaller than her.

What's the difference between a woman and a freezer?

A freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

My friend that used to be married was making jokes about me being short. Then I told him, "Your marriage was so short it made me look like Shaquille O'Neal."

What is the difference between you and my dad?

Nothing.

When you want to see and smell your ex for the last time, look at a ugly dog, and smell the garbage.

What's the difference between anal and oral sex?

An and Or!

Yo mama so far, she makes the Statue of Freedom look like a 6-inch action figure.

You're so tall that you are a measuring tape.

Your forehead is so big that your name is Humpty Dumpty, the big forehead!

Your hairline is like Mr. Clean's... nonexistent!

Obese is the N-word for fat people.

What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?

A cat has claws at the end of paws; a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.

What’s the difference between a penis and a golf ball?

A penis always goes in the hole.

Q. What's the difference between Trump and a Teletubby?

A. The Teletubby is a lot more coherent.

Your mama's so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it said, "To be continued."

What’s the difference between an orphan and a flower?

One is beautiful.