Comparison jokes

I thank God that I'm not as ugly as you.

Your mama so fat, Jupiter is smaller than her.

Q: I often think I'm ugly, but then I think of my sister and get over it.

You are so fat that Big Chungus looks like a small Chungus.

When you want to see and smell your ex for the last time, look at a ugly dog, and smell the garbage.

What is the difference between you and my dad?

Nothing.

What's the difference between anal and oral sex?

An and Or!

The egg that beat Kylie Jenner.

Obese is the N-word for fat people.

What’s the difference between a penis and a golf ball?

A penis always goes in the hole.

What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?

A cat has claws at the end of paws; a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.

Q. What's the difference between Trump and a Teletubby?

A. The Teletubby is a lot more coherent.

You're so skinny that a Wi-Fi signal is stronger.

What’s weaker than a daffodil? Mundy’s ankles.

Ku cina Na xidludla swifana no push refrigerator. 😂😂

Your hairline is like a lollipop because every time someone licks it, it gets shorter.

What’s the difference between a pig and Maddie McCann?

Least a pig had an apple in its mouth when it was spit roasted.

What's the difference between BTS and Futurama? There's only one Bender in Futurama.

Your mama's so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it said, "To be continued."

Yo momma's armpits are so hairy, it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock.