Comparison jokes

My new stepfather told me that I'm his new son, so I said okay.

My stepfather said that my and your mom have a few things in common. I said, "Yeah, like what?" My stepfather said, "Well, you came out of your mother's pussy; I eat your mother's pussy. You used to suck on your mother's tits; now I suck on your mother's tits. Your mother used to smack you in the ass when you act up; now I smack your mom in the ass now. Your mother calls me daddy; now I am your new daddy."

People are like potatoes.

We may look different, but we all taste the same with a little ketchup.

Q: What do Burger King and Michael Jackson have in common?

A: They put meat on five-year-old buns.

I ass big ass you :-)

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

120 pounds.

What's the difference between you and a Barbie? There is no difference. Both of your faces are fake.

What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I cut up onions.

What is the difference between you and my dad?

Nothing.

"ADHD is brainless and autism is braindead."

What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.

So I went to a church and I asked a friend, "Is the picture on the wall Jesus, and does it have three nails or one nail?" Oh wait, that's not Jesus, he is not doing the T pose that he invited.

What is the difference between George Floyd and Kobe?

Kobe got air.

Why are emos jealous of light?

The lights are hanging.

I laughed when I realized that my suicide letter is way longer than my sibling's college essay.

Roses are red, violets are blue, that joke is old, just like you.

Your mama so fat, it took all the trees to build her a coffin.

Yo forehead so big you look like Aeri.

Your eyebrows could make the bushes outside feel jealous.

Trees are just bushes with lift kits.

If I found BlessedBrian's jokes FUNNY, I would be just as retarded as HIM.