Comparison jokes
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One of them gets picked.
Your hairline and your eyebrows are like your parents, separated.
Your hairline reminds me of a car taking a U-turn.
What’s the difference between a dad and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.
What's the difference between limbs of babies and a dick?
I've never sucked on dicks.
Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."
Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"
Someone: . . .
Yo mama is so fat that when she steps on a scale, it says "to be continued."
What do pedophiles and a SpongeBob intro have in common?
Are you ready kids?
What is the similarity between orphans and apples?
They both get thrown out.
Your hairline looks like a brick wall.
Me: Cobain!
Friend: No, dude, it's Kobe.
Me: Why? Cobain didn't miss his last shot.
What is bigger than an elephant but smaller than two elephants?
A different sized elephant.
I like my kids like I like my lamps.
Hung from the ceiling.
What do a penis and a Rubik's Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
I wasn't staring at you; I was trying to figure out if that's your forehead or the moon.
Your hairline is so messed up, I thought a 2-year-old cut you up!
Imagine me being 12 feet taller than your dad.
Life is like a box of chocolates, they f*cking melt :)
What's the difference between a golfer and a fisherman? A fisherman has to bring proof back.
What's the difference between pussy and pizza... nothing because I'll eat them both.