Comparison jokes

Obese is the N-word for fat people.

I still remember the third of December, me in your sweater. You said it looked better on me than it did you. Only if you knew how much I liked you. But I watch your eyes as she walks by. What a sight for sore eyes, Brighter than the blue sky. She's got you mesmerized while I die. Why would you ever kiss me? I'm not even half as pretty. You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester, But you like her better. Wish I were Heather. Watch as she stands with her, holding your hand. Put your arm 'round her shoulder, now I'm getting colder. But how could I hate her, she's such an angel. But then again, kinda wish she were dead as she walks by. What a sight for sore eyes. Brighter than the blue sky. She's got you mesmerized while I die. Why would you ever kiss me? I'm not even half as pretty. You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester, But you like her better. I wish I were Heather. Oh, I wish I were Heather. Oh, oh, wish I were Heather. Why would you ever kiss me? I'm not even half as pretty. You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester, But you like her better. Wish I were-

Q. What's the difference between Trump and a Teletubby?

A. The Teletubby is a lot more coherent.

What’s the difference between a penis and a golf ball?

A penis always goes in the hole.

What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?

A cat has claws at the end of paws; a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.

What’s weaker than a daffodil? Mundy’s ankles.

Ku cina Na xidludla swifana no push refrigerator. 😂😂

Your hairline is like a lollipop because every time someone licks it, it gets shorter.

What’s the difference between a pig and Maddie McCann?

Least a pig had an apple in its mouth when it was spit roasted.

I've seen more depth in a kiddie pool than in BLESSEDBRIAN’s jokes.

I’d say Leo is as sharp as a marble, but that would be an insult to marbles.

What's the difference between BTS and Futurama? There's only one Bender in Futurama.

I would call Slade dense, but that would be an insult to rocks.

Your mama's so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it said, "To be continued."

Yo momma's armpits are so hairy, it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock.

My mom went to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.

AOT > ur fav anime.

What's the difference between Adolf Hitler and Usain Bolt?

Usain Bolt finished the races.

You have a head of a Malteser and a hairline VEGTA.

Your forehead is so big, I thought it was a brick wall.