Comparison jokes

The USA has school shootings. We Canadians have bus beheadings.

You're so skinny, you could travel through a fax!

What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.

Trees are just bushes with lift kits.

All those people claiming Donald Trump is like Hitler need a reality check.

After all, it's not like Donald Trump could write a book.

A Texan and an Alaskan walk into a room, and the Alaskan says, "My state is bigger." Then the Texan says, "It won't be when it melts."

What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?

You can't use a pitchfork to get the bowling ball out of the truck.

You're so skinny that if I were to put you on a flagpole, you would wave in the wind.

I like my women like how I like my cocaine, smuggled and cut clean.

I like my women like I like my microwaves.

Hot, ready to go when I am, and able to kill any baby I put in her.

What's the difference between necrophilia and a choking fetish? 15 seconds.

How do you know someone has Down syndrome?

They're doing better than you.

Whats the difference between NASA and religion NASA takes you through space Religion takes you through two towers

I don't know why Trump has orange skin but has white around his eyes. So does that mean he is some fucking dog?

What is the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?

You can unscrew a light bulb.

What is the difference between a car and a tree?

A tree cannot drive, but a car can drive.

Enyaw’s fanny smells of dirty, moist, fishy, rotten egg, dead Elizabeth, pig dick, cow cum filth.

Dirty bitch!

Your mama's so fat that she can’t even talk, even if Kevin says, "Oh my gosh!" 'cause she has a big ass mouth.

Ur mom was so fat that even Jon Brower Minnoch was ten times less fat.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a slice of pizza?

A dead baby can't feed a family.