Comparison jokes
Q: I often think I'm ugly, but then I think of my sister and get over it.
Yo mama so far, she makes the Statue of Freedom look like a 6-inch action figure.
You make Sanic look like a PRINCESS when he's next to you.
You're so tall that you are a measuring tape.
Your forehead is damn big, Walt was jealous of you.
Yo mama's teeth so yellow, I can't believe it's not butter!
Your hairline is more bent than James Charles' gender.
You're so bald, Bob Hope would refer to you as "grandpa."
Your forehead is so big that your name is Humpty Dumpty, the big forehead!
I thank God that I'm not as ugly as you.
What's the difference between a woman and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
My friend that used to be married was making jokes about me being short. Then I told him, "Your marriage was so short it made me look like Shaquille O'Neal."
You are so fat that Big Chungus looks like a small Chungus.
What's the difference between anal and oral sex?
An and Or!
Your hairline is like Mr. Clean's... nonexistent!
Yo mama so fat, she doesn't count as 1 person bro, she counts as 40 people.
What is the difference between you and my dad?
Nothing.
When you want to see and smell your ex for the last time, look at a ugly dog, and smell the garbage.
The egg that beat Kylie Jenner.
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of paws; a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.