Comparison jokes
What does an eighty-year-old woman have in between her boobs that a twenty-year-old woman doesn't?
A belly button.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
120 pounds.
Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that always comes out of your mouth?
What’s the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One kneels for salvation.
The other kneels with salivation.
What's the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One is glowing and the other is blowing.
Memes
Q: What's the difference between a CEO and a beer can?
A: Beer cans don't bleed when they get shot.
Your teeth are so yellow, when you smile, you put the sun out of business.
When your boy tries to have a bad day while you're on your period:
Oh, you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg, and now my body is ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?
Your mama so fat, it took all the trees to build her a coffin.
Your hair line is curved like a moving train.
Yo mama so fat, Zeus used her as a bowling ball.
The tables in my class are straight, but I can’t say the same thing for your hairline.
You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?
A lot of things.
Cool people: I can do anything.
Normal people: I can do nothing.
Your forehead is deeper than the ocean.
Life is like a penis. It is short.
Your hairline is so far back, even Vegeta laughed at it!
Yo hairline so long, it makes you look like Mr. Clean.
My sister and a basketball got certain things in common.
My sister's tits and ass are bouncy like a basketball.
You ever notice that the USA could be a part of Russia?
RUSSIA US A