Comparison jokes
Plastic bags look like you, dirty and fake.
Life is like a penis. It is short.
Yo hairline so long, it makes you look like Mr. Clean.
You ever notice that the USA could be a part of Russia?
RUSSIA US A
What do ninjas and depressed people have in common?
They're always cutting.
Memes
Cool people: I can do anything.
Normal people: I can do nothing.
Yo mama so fat, Zeus used her as a bowling ball.
What is the difference between the National Organization For Carpet Munchers and the National Organization For Women?
The National Organization For Women has more experience in being a carpet muncher because they eat more pussy.
An orphan comes up to me and says, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."
The tables in my class are straight, but I can’t say the same thing for your hairline.
Your hair line is curved like a moving train.
Your forehead is deeper than the ocean.
Your hairline is so far back, even Vegeta laughed at it!
My sister and a basketball got certain things in common.
My sister's tits and ass are bouncy like a basketball.
What do Drew Bledsoe and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both got taken out by two jets.
God, you’re having a good day?
Me: Yes, beats burning in hell.
What is a similarity between priests and doctors?
They both have fetishes for their professions.
Your hairline is so far back, it makes the Giant from Clash of Clans jealous!
One person said you are much more beautiful than Cinderella. The next day, you're in court and Cinderella is the witness.
(P.S. she was born to be a drama queen.)
What’s the difference between a WNBA player and a rotten apple? The apple has a chance to make it into the basket.