Common jokes

What do orphans have in common with stray dogs?

Nothing, they are both orphans.

What do volcanoes and suicide bombers have in common?

They both erupt when triggered.

What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?

There were two when we were kids, but now it’s a touchy subject.

What does a pencil and a plan have in common?

They were both in the Twin Towers.

What do Jim Kelly and Dick Cheney have in common?

They both make terrible hunters.

What do orphans and police not have in common?

The police can actually go home.

What do you call an anorexic girl with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese.

What do you call ten lesbians in a room together? Fingerhut.

What do you call two lesbians in a closet together? A liquor cabinet.

What do you call a room full of 50 lesbians and fifty congressmen? 100 people who don't do dick.

Why don't women wear miniskirts in the winter? 'Cause they would get chapped lips.

What do a cliff jumper and a gay man have in common? If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit.

What does a deaf person and an orphan have in common? They both can’t hear their parents.

Why can’t an orphan go to Family Dollar? They don’t have a family.

Don’t mess with an emo because if their friends pull up, you gotta fight the suicide squad.

Donald Trump and Fanta both have some things in common.

They are both orange and were conceived from Nazis!

What do a black and a tornado have in common?

They both wreck neighborhoods.

What does a woman’s pussy and a chainsaw have in common?

Miss by a few inches and you’re in deep shit.

What do Philippe Petit and New York citizens have in common?

They both walk(ed) over the Twin Towers.

What do hockey players and cops have in common?

They both use sticks to hit something black.

What do old people and meth heads have in common? They usually trip over their balls.

What do Call of Duty and Al-Qaeda goals have in common?

You’ve got to get more than one down.

What does Michael Jackson and McDonald's have in common?

They both use 30-year-old meat in between two-year-old buns.

What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They're both meat substitutes.

What do a condom and a gun have in common? You should never use either one of them.

What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.

What do orphans and Spider-Man have in common?

They both have no way home.