What do Jesus and I have in common?
No one knows my real bday either.
Common Jokes
Do you know what dogs and orphans don't have in common?
Dogs get loved.
What do emos and guys with a durag have in common? They both have waves, just one is on their arm.
Q: What do the mob and pussy have in common?
A: One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.
What do the Nicaraguan Contras, Crips, and Crack have in common? The CIA.
What do high school kids and Dow have in common? They both test chemicals.
What do both a hooker and a customer have in common? They come onto each other.
What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They're both meat substitutes.
Q: What do kidnappers and rapists have in common?
H: It's similar to shoes.
A: White Vans.
What does a bullet and milk have in common? They both take out your dad.
What do a male pornstar and an emo have in common?
They are both hung.
What do British politics and transgender people have in common?
Both aren't what they used to be...
I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.
He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.
What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?
Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.
They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
What do I and a brand new chandelier have in common?
One of these days, we’re both gonna be hanging from the ceiling.
What does an orphan and Spider-Man have in common?
They have no "why home" 👹
What does a hooker and butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.
Q. What do Danielle Smith and a squirrel have in common?
A. They both always have a mouth full of nuts.
One day the mailman came to drop the mail off, then he asked if I could use the bathroom. I said yeah. The thing is, my mom was coming out of the shower naked, and when she opened the door, it was me and the mailman.
Now, when the mailman sees me, he says to me, "We got something in common, we both saw your mom naked."
