BASIC Jokes

The twin towers were basically Angry Birds but in real life.

Next time at Walmart, I'm going to scan my wrist. They are basically barcodes.

Saying I'm sorry and I apologize are basically the same thing... except at a funeral.

If you're in Alabama, family reunions are basically speed dating events.

Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.

Technically, a human is hollow. We have an empty tube through us from the mouth and nose to the asshole and dick or pussy. We are basically tubes.

If an orphan takes a selfie, isn't it basically a family portrait?

Sex is basically math. You add the bed. Subtract the clothes. Divide the legs to multiply inside.

Jesus and Satan are just basically Homer and Flanders. One tries to help the other, only for Satan to just say, "Shut up!"

What are the basic ingredients when a cannibal makes a sandwich?

2 slices of Brad.

Life lesson guys:

Remember, being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible.

Playing soccer in a wheelchair is basically Rocket League in real life.

God died for your sins, so basically if you don't sin then Jesus died for nothing.

What does the Bible stand for?

Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.

So, as a school shooter, I try to remember my ABC's. A, B, C, D, E, F, GUN!

And I basically stop at G, since no students ever speak to me about the rest.

I played Rock Paper Scissors with my friend Enyaw. I cba with jokes basically me and Enyaw always scissor.

Hey guys, it's Hailey here.

I'ma start off with henlo ;-;

I know you guys aren't going to believe me because of the assholes who were faking to be me, but if you can try to believe me, I'll explain.

So, Jake, we can't really be together anymore, since we no longer can chat. I'm so sorry.

Basically, my parents caught us on here as you realized. Yayyyy.

I don't have time to say anything else. So I've gotta go, but thankyou guys for everything you did for me.

Also, you won't get any response from me so yea. So sorry guys ;-;

A man had moved to a new country with his dog and with basic understanding of the language. One day he heard people talking about a place for dogs, so he took his dog there, telling them he wanted his dog to be groomed.

The man behind the counter responded with "yes happy dog, come back in little hours." So the man left and came back a couple hours later. When he asked about his dog, he was given a box of jerky. He found out "Happy Dog" was the name of the place where dogs become food.

If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?

Tony Abbott's career.

I think about my life, and then I think about death. I prefer death. If you ask me, life is just a time when you die. Basically, death is life, meaningless 0-0.