Coming out jokes
I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.
If you're American when you go in the bathroom and you're American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?
European.
I went to the “lists of women” page on Wikipedia and it was blank.
Either, Wikipedia is proving women do not exist or John Cena decided to come out as transgender.
An orphan uses a family bathroom, and when he comes out, he gets told, "This is a family bathroom."
What is the most noise that comes out of a ladies mouth? Nothing because they never have anything important to say.
Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense.
They have to come out of the closet sometime.
Why are most vacuums gay?
They’re always coming out of the closet.
What's the difference between a peanut and a priest?
With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They don't have a closet to come out of.
"Hi, Mrs. Jackson, can Matt come out and play?"
"Oh, Johnny, you know Matt doesn't have any arms or legs."
"I know, we just wanted to use him as third base."
Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?
Because they're always coming out of the closet.
What song do supportive parents of a closeted child love?
“The Son Will Come Out Tomorrow.”
I heard Steven Spielberg is coming out with a new movie about fat people called E.C.
(Extra Cholesterol)
The doe comes out of the woods, shakes herself, and says,
"I can't believe I did that for 2 bucks!"
One day the mailman came to drop the mail off, then he asked if I could use the bathroom. I said yeah. The thing is, my mom was coming out of the shower naked, and when she opened the door, it was me and the mailman.
Now, when the mailman sees me, he says to me, "We got something in common, we both saw your mom naked."
My uncles like the moon.
He comes out at night.
What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?
They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.
I'm so poor that when people come over to my house, I come out the window and say, "Ding Dong!"
Three gay men enter a bar in Iran. They don't come out.
Shorts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin. When it's sniff, stick it in. It goes in dry and comes out wet, And the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag.
It's not what you think it is. It's a Lipton tea bag.
Get your mind together!