Comedy jokes
What goes hahaha bonk?
A man laughing his head off.
Spongebob's teeth upside down is the twin towers.
Spongebob: 9 letters
Squarepants: 11 letters
Spongebob did 9/11.
When you were born, you were so ugly that the doctors slapped your parents!
"DEEZ NUTS"
I wanna tell you guys a joke about a broken pencil...
But it’s quite pointless.
Memes
What do you call an injured person who doesn't want to play a game with you? A sore loser.
Actor 1: "I'm Michael with a b and I hate insects."
Actor 2: "Where's the b?"
Actor 1: "THERE'S A BEE???????????!!!!!!!!!!!????????!!!!!"
Hello Miss Chandia, here. I want to tell you guys a joke.
What do jokes serve for dessert?
Me scrolling through jokes that sum up my life, starts crying.
My friend: What’s wrong?
Me: Nothing, it's just so funny. Lol😂🤣😂
I would tell you a joke about a slice of pizza, but it's really... cheesy. I donut think you will come up with a better pun than this.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Atch.
Atch who?
Sorry you are sneezing. Have you got a cold?
Are you made of Gallium and Yttrium?
Because you are looking a little bit GaY.
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
What do you call a chill transgender?
Fictional.
What did the banana say to the peel?
“Let’s split!”
What do orphans and olden day actors have in common?
Both get food thrown at them some of the time.
A man runs into a church and shouts, "Are there any dwarf nuns in the monastery?" The Pope said no, causing the man to say to his friend, "I told you you fucked a penguin!"
Some dude called me a tool.
So later I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend.
Guess he was right :/
What do ya call a legless prostitute in a strawberry field?
A jammy cunt.
How did you get Sally into a blender?
- Without much resistance.
How do you get Sally out of a blender?
- Tortilla chips.