Comedy

Comedy jokes

Friend

My friend looks more red than Mr. Krabs.

It’s weird, I could’ve sworn I saw the silhouette of a belt hurling towards him the other day.

Hell

God, you’re having a good day?

Me: Yes, beats burning in hell.

Hair

Your hair is receding more than people do when they smell you.

Chin

I'd make a joke about the chin bones, but y'all couldn't mandle it.

Twin

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

I don't know, but the Twin Towers do.

Morning

The first ever joke:

https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/52b8feb0514efb2cbf8ca375/what-is-the-second-hardest-thing-in-the-morning?

Yo mama

Me: Yo, dude! Yo mama so fat when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes!

My friend's mom: Why you bully me?

Horse

You can assume a horse is called a great jumper when the horse’s name is “Polo Neck”.

Snail

Once I was asked to perform snail jokes at a stand-up comedy night. I certainly snailed it because the crowd thought it was shellerious.

Peg

What do you call Peg and Cat from Peg + Cat? Egg + splat.

Eggy joke for all to enjoy!

Dog

What do you call a deaf dog? As you like, he doesn't hear you anyway.

Song

Q. What is Terri Schiavo's favorite Eminem song?

A. "Till I Collapse."