Comedy jokes

My name is Jafar. I come from afar. There's a bomb in my car. Allahu Akbar!

Huh, I'm really pissed off. No matter how many jokes I make, no one likes them. 😭😭:'(:':😔😔😿💔💔👇👇:(

What's so bad about 9 divided by 11?

Why couldn’t the kitten watch the movie? It had a violent cat-e-gory.

Scrolled through all of them, still haven't laughed.

Why did the skeleton want a friend?

Because she was feeling bonely.

If there was a quiz on midgets, here’s the Midget quiz and the questions that would be on it:

1. When midgets get high on any drug, do they get high or medium?

2. Do midgets come out the closet or the cabinet?

3. Are Midgets related to Snow White’s 7 Dwarfs?

4. Is a midget just a human without the mushroom in Mario?

5. Was this funny?

You’ve got something on your face. Wait, no, it’s just missing something. My dick.

Who is the least young Dave?

Dave-on.

Q. Why aren't midget jokes funny?

A. They always seem to punch down.

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon....I'll let you know.

Ever since we started quarantining, I've only been telling inside jokes.

What comes after 69?

Period.

I would tell you a joke about pizza, but it was too cheesy.

Lil bro's hairline is making me hungry wit that M shape also hitten me wit that damb batab bat bat baaa.

I wanted to tell a joke about Jonestown.

But the punch line is too long.

I'd make a joke about the chin bones, but y'all couldn't mandle it.

Why did God steal a rib from Adam and make a woman out of it?

God wanted to show that nothing sensible can come of stealing!

What’s a rapper’s favorite martial art?

Punchlines.

What’s something Bill Cosby and Freddy Krueger have in common?

Once you fall asleep, you’re fucked.