Comedy jokes
Why did the skeleton want a friend?
Because she was feeling bonely.
If there was a quiz on midgets, here’s the Midget quiz and the questions that would be on it:
1. When midgets get high on any drug, do they get high or medium?
2. Do midgets come out the closet or the cabinet?
3. Are Midgets related to Snow White’s 7 Dwarfs?
4. Is a midget just a human without the mushroom in Mario?
5. Was this funny?
My friend looks more red than Mr. Krabs.
It’s weird, I could’ve sworn I saw the silhouette of a belt hurling towards him the other day.
God, you’re having a good day?
Me: Yes, beats burning in hell.
Your hair is receding more than people do when they smell you.
I'd make a joke about the chin bones, but y'all couldn't mandle it.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
I don't know, but the Twin Towers do.
What did the calculator say to his friends? “You can count on me!”
The first ever joke:
https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/52b8feb0514efb2cbf8ca375/what-is-the-second-hardest-thing-in-the-morning?
Me: Yo, dude! Yo mama so fat when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes!
My friend's mom: Why you bully me?
Yo hairline caused corruption.
You can assume a horse is called a great jumper when the horse’s name is “Polo Neck”.
Once I was asked to perform snail jokes at a stand-up comedy night. I certainly snailed it because the crowd thought it was shellerious.
What do you call Peg and Cat from Peg + Cat? Egg + splat.
Eggy joke for all to enjoy!
Why do people enjoy orphan jokes! Lol... I LOVE IT >:)
Me: I need a good roast.
My friend: Take me!
What do you call a deaf dog? As you like, he doesn't hear you anyway.
They're not jokes, they're notes now, get me?
I am in trouble.
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Deez.
Deez who?
Deez nuts!
Q. What is Terri Schiavo's favorite Eminem song?
A. "Till I Collapse."