Comedy jokes
How does a woman scare a gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist.
What is the best joke of all time?
Feminism.
What do you call a tall terrorist?
Osama Bin Laden.
*True story*
I saw this guy with a very bad hairline who was painting himself blue and it said "Smurf Paint," but I shouted, "Megamind!"
Your mom is so ugly when she tried to enter the ugly contest, they said they don't allow professionals.
How do you find someone's hairline? It's simple, you don't.
Papyrus: Sans, I have a joke. What do you call someone lazy and incompetent?
Sans: What do you call them?
Papyrus: YOU! NOW GET UP AND CLEAN YOUR ROOM, YOU LAZY BONES!
"Knock knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Baby!"
"Baby who?"
"Do you want to eat this baby that I have prepared?"
"No thanks, I already ate."
Funny.
Mexican Comedy Week
Margarita Monday Taco Tuesday Wetback Wednesday Tequila Thursday Fiesta Friday Shake It Saturday Sneaky Sunday
I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"
He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"
My teacher asked the class to stand up if you're dumb. No one did, so she said, "Come on, someone must be dumb," and pointed over to the left side of the classroom. Lil Jonny stands up. "Do you think you're dumb, Lil Jonny?" asked the teacher. "No, I just feel bad for you. You're the only one who stood up," replied Lil Jonny!
I would make a disabled joke.
But they never work.
When you were born, you were so ugly that the doctors slapped your parents!
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it leaves and never comes back...
Spongebob's teeth upside down is the twin towers.
Spongebob: 9 letters
Squarepants: 11 letters
Spongebob did 9/11.
What goes hahaha bonk?
A man laughing his head off.
What do you call a llama that was in 9/11? Osama Bin Llama.
What happened when the Japanese guy offered Logan Paul a high five?
He left him hanging.
Why can't an orphan live peacefully?
Technoblade: As a ghost, he could locate all orphans within 2 weeks.