Comedy jokes
Guess the joke.
Your girlfriend.
Son: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I'm blind.
Mom: Exactly.
What sort of movies do cows like to watch?
Moosicals!
Once I was asked to perform snail jokes at a stand-up comedy night. I certainly snailed it because the crowd thought it was shellerious.
I call my friends Dodo birds. Because they don't exist.
What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?
"This tastes a little funny."
Anyone else think High School Musical would have been a better film with a school shooter?
A man runs into a church and shouts, "Are there any dwarf nuns in the monastery?" The Pope said no, causing the man to say to his friend, "I told you you fucked a penguin!"
Does anyone still look at this? If you do, tell me if I should make more jokes :)
You can assume a horse is called a great jumper when the horse’s name is “Polo Neck”.
So.. err actually, don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies, but I had to abort.
What's the difference between a bad joke and an actually bad joke?
An actually bad joke is not funny, like this one!
What did one nut say to the other?
“Cashew later.”
Rape jokes are the funniest thing to ever exist.
Why do dwarfs love penis? It tickles their insides.
Did you know the F in orphan stands for family... Oh wait, haha.
We should stop making jokes about orphans before they tell their parents... Oh, continue.
Bro, stop. You guys are saying the same jokes over and over. If you're gonna tell a 9/11 joke, just go laugh about the Great Thumps.
Sonic says... April 1st is the best day to do a school shooting. They will think it’s a joke! 😃
A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."
The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."
"Thanks Dad," the son says.
The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."
Why did the man cut down the tree? Because it was there. 👨🪚🌲
Why didn't the man cut down the tree? Because it wasn't there. 😕🪚!?️
Why did the tree cut down the man? Because it was a bad tree. 🌲🪚😮