Comedian jokes
Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."
What would Bill Cosby be if he was white?
Innocent.
I’d make a Kobe joke, it just wouldn’t land right.
What’s something Bill Cosby and Freddy Krueger have in common?
Once you fall asleep, you’re fucked.
BlessedBrian must have been born on April Fools’ Day... because he’s a joke every day of the year.
Who is the least young Dave?
Dave-on.
So, a bus crashes, killing everyone on the bus, and God feels so bad that He gives each one a wish.
The first person comes up, and she wants to be beautiful, so God makes her beautiful, and she goes into Heaven. The next person comes up, and he says, "I want to be beautiful as well." As this goes on, the last man in the back begins laughing a little, everyone becoming beautiful, until God asked the last person what they want, and he said, "I want everyone in front of me to be ugly again!" So God had to call the based department and gave him everything that last guy wanted.
If you don't like the video in 10 seconds, James Charles will sleep with you tonight.
Like Markgeraldnasol and his Pokemon Jokes.
What do you call a killer that uses psycho powers?
Mr. Mime!
Can a guy in a wheelchair be a stand-up comedian?
When you ask your friend, "Can I hear a joke?"
"Sure."
"What do orphans and orange peels have the same?"
"What?"
"They both get thrown out."
They used to laugh when I said I wanted to be a comedian.
Well, they're not laughing now!
Why do disabled people not like comedians?
Because they do stand up.
What do you call a funny rapper?
A PUN-ISHER!
Who tells the best chicken jokes?
Comedi-hens!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bill Cosby.
Bill Cosby who?
Never mind, I’ll come back when you’re sleeping.
My friend who is in a wheelchair told me a joke, and I burst out laughing. I told him he should be a stand-up comedian.
I think there will be many more jokes afoot! 👣
Number 1 ventriloquist dies at age 76, will be mist.
Comedian: If you’re racist and you know it, clap your hands.
Guy 1 & Guy 2: 👏👏
Comedian: WTF bros!
Comedian: And one of you is black and one is white. How does that work?