Comedian Jokes

a blind comedian walks into a room or did he dun dun dun

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Abajo.

Abajo who?

I have abajo of water with me.

What did a comedian say at a show full of blind people? What’s up.

I always loved going to Bill Cosby's house; he always greeted me when I woke-up with "Rapey-rapey, eggs and bakey".

I maybe not that gppd with puns on this site but I got a SKELE-TON of jokes. Hey what's the matter pal, is there something crawling UNDER your skin

How u know if a comedian is high. Comedian: Why did the wings cross the road? To get to chicken.

Wow- didn't know little jhony jokes were so dark- Well, but what do you expect from a site with jokes about sucide, sex and drugs? :-)

"Drugs?????" His eyes popped out. Well I don't really know if there actually are- and the exact ones... But there's so many kinds of jokes- Even chin jokes. :⁠^⁠))

and slice jokes!

What kind of "slices"?

Handy ones. ^⁠_⁠^

Friend: If u don't like my bad jokes I will tell some stand up comedy. Me: But u are not standing:)

Everyone gangster till Helen Keller hits a 3 on you.

Your mom is a slow comedian, it took her 9 months to make a good joke

What is a Finnish Spitz's favorite comedian?

Redd Foxx

Howard stern rules biotches!

What do u call someone with a small dick... whoever is reading this 😉

heres a list of puns not all of them are mine

1.Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.

2.Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.

3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.

4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.

5.Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”

6.Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!

7.Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!

8.How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!

9.That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!

10.My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!

There's nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt. 18. What caused the Great depression? A lack of comedians.

So I bus crashes killing everyone on the bus and god feels so bad that he gives each one a wish so the first person comes up and she wants to be beautiful so god makes her beautiful and she goes into heaven next person comes up and he says I want to be beautiful as well as the last man in the back begins laughing a little so this goes on everyone becoming beautiful until god asked the last person what they want and he said I want everyone in front of me to be ugly again! so god had to call the based department and gave him everything that last guy wanted

The teacher asked the class what they wanted to be when they grew up Johnny said when he grows up hes going to be A motherfuking Hustler he's going to have a wife and live in a big house in the country with maids and butlers and drive a rolls- Royce and he's also going to have apartment in the City where his side bitch is going to live he's going to buy her expensive jewelry whatever she wants cars diamonds clothes shoes the teacher didn't know what to say so she calls on Sally what do you want to be when you grow up? Sally said I want to be Johnny's bitch.