Comedian jokes
Some people like Stephen Hawking jokes, but he will never be a stand-up comedian.
Vince Li doesn't eat comedians. He says they taste funny.
Q: Why didn't Jeffery Dahmer eat comedians?
A: He thought they tasted funny.
Because of all the rampant inbreeding in America, it's not a surprise that Hollywood had to poach models, comedians, and actors from Canada and Australia.
What do you call a funny rapper?
A PUN-ISHER!
If someone made a comedy routine about Terri Schiavo, would that be considered roasting a vegetable?
What is the difference between Kanye and Hitler?
Hitler knew when his career was over.
How do you make an ass laugh?
Crack a CHEEKY JOKE.
BlessedBrian must have been born on April Fools’ Day... because he’s a joke every day of the year.
Who is the least young Dave?
Dave-on.
What’s something Bill Cosby and Freddy Krueger have in common?
Once you fall asleep, you’re fucked.
Hey, I just want to give a round of applause to Shooter McFly, single-handedly keeping the jokes section alive. Unappreciated, well, Shooter, one person here appreciates you, at least.
I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun. Now it’s an assault rifle.
Why do disabled people not like comedians?
Because they do stand up.
What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
The worst comedians take 9 months to make a joke. Then they spend the rest of their lives trying to forget it.
I wasn't going to tell another emo joke, but I didn't want to leave anyone hanging.
What do you call a stand-up comedian if the comedian doesn’t have legs?
What would Bill Cosby be if he was white?
Innocent.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bill Cosby.
Bill Cosby who?
Never mind, I’ll come back when you’re sleeping.