Comedian jokes
What would Bill Cosby be if he was white?
Innocent.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Joem.
Joem who?
Joem Ama.
Q: What do women and KFC have in common?
A: Once you eat the breasts and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
What do you get when you cross jokes and cum?
CUMedy.
Who is the least young Dave?
Dave-on.
What's worse than having a comedian as president? Having a president that has dementia.
Your mom is a slow comedian. It took her 9 months to make a good joke.
Because of all the rampant inbreeding in America, it's not a surprise that Hollywood had to poach models, comedians, and actors from Canada and Australia.
I thought I saw Jojo Siwa... no wait, it's your hairline.
Russia be like we're strong, gets ass beat up by a comedian with a hook nose...
#i stand with Ukraine 🇺🇦
The worst comedians take 9 months to make a joke. Then they spend the rest of their lives trying to forget it.
What do you call a funny cow?
A cowmedian.
What do you call a stand-up comedian if the comedian doesn’t have legs?
Did you hear about the terrorist comedian?
He was actually quite funny...
He just blew the delivery.
(I'll show myself out).
How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
I went to a stand up show with the person who made my life a joke.
What do you call a gay scientist? Stephen Hawqueen.
- I think you're EGGcellent.
+ Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you're a EGGxtraordinary comedian.
- Really? Are you done yet?.
+ Are you kidding? I have a DOZEN of them.
What do you get when you cross Donald Trump with Fregley?
Orange juice.
My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...