Comedian jokes
Did you hear about the terrorist comedian?
He was actually quite funny...
He just blew the delivery.
(I'll show myself out).
A clown held a door open for me. I thought it was a nice jester.
My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...
Number 1 ventriloquist dies at age 76, will be mist.
What do you call a black comedian?
Dark Humor.
What would Bill Cosby be if he was white?
Innocent.
How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
Bill Cosby on rape: "But, I heard, 'my body, my choice.'"
- I think you're EGGcellent.
+ Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you're a EGGxtraordinary comedian.
- Really? Are you done yet?.
+ Are you kidding? I have a DOZEN of them.
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?
Because he can’t do stand up.
I was a sit-down comedian, then I tried to stand up. I fell.
I wished I stayed in the wheelchair.
Your mom is a slow comedian. It took her 9 months to make a good joke.
What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?
They don’t cook because they love eating out.
What do you get when you cross Donald Trump with Fregley?
Orange juice.
My boss said she would've loved to meet Bill Cosby as a child. I don't get why I'm getting arrested. I was just making sure his dream came true.
Helen Keller once dated a brick wall.
What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most? The “cold and passed out” kind.
I went to a stand up show with the person who made my life a joke.
I always loved going to Bill Cosby's house; he always greeted me when I woke up with "Rapey-rapey, eggs and bakey."
bradley