Comedian

Comedian jokes

Friend

My friend told me an emo joke once, and I said, "Emo jokes aren't funny, cut it out!"

Stalin

You really can't call Stalin bad. Just think about the people that wanted to die.

Penis

Danny Devito looks like one of those men with a short, yet thick penis.

Mom

My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...

Physicist

1 "Knock knock."

2 "Who's there?"

1 "Interrupting physicist."

2 "Interrupting who?"

1 "Muon!!!"

Emo

I wasn't going to tell another emo joke, but I didn't want to leave anyone hanging.

Legend

Sad to think about legend O.G. Mudbone being no longer with us.

I’m only curious how they closed his casket.

Breath

Anyone got any good Floyd jokes? I really need them to take my breath away.

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  • Kid

    Hey, you know what I told the kid in a wheelchair?

    I told him to be a stand-up comedian!

    Vegetarian

    Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."