Clothing jokes
How many animals can you fit in a pair of underpants?
A. A cock and a few hairs (hares).
Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke weed.
Jack and Jill got high, and Jack ripped Jill's clothes right off her. Then Jill ripped Jack's clothes off. Jack, when they were fully naked, they started to kiss, but Jack stopped. Jill said, "I know you wanna." Jack said, "No," but Jill jumped on that candy stick anyway. Jack gave in to Jill.
Jill got off, then let Jack suck her candy stick. Jill sucked on Jack's candy stick.
What does a dog do in a dresser?
It pants!
"Nice pants. Can I test the zipper?"
I wore a purple outfit to school, and some Indian kid called me Thanos, so I called him Vision and tried pulling the red dot off his head.
What do nail polish and panties have in common?
Both come off with alcohol.
Someone told me I looked gay today. I told him that my clothes just came out of the closet this morning.
When should you discourage your husband from exercising and dieting? When he wants to fit in your clothes!
An emo kid sees his clothes hanging to dry, and he says to his clothes, "I wish I were you!"
Why does Sonic wear gloves? Because his hands are cold.
The priest had a very holy shirt.
I bought a sweater and it started building up static electricity.
So I got another one free of charge.
What does a ripped jacket and a golfer have in common?
They both have a hole in one.
When your mom tells you there's a present in the laundry room,
The present: Laundry.
*gunshot*
What does a storm cloud wear under his raincoat? Thunderwear.
My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.
Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I see myself in them.
Are your ankles having a party? Because I think your pants should come on down.
What did the shirt say to the pants?
Belt.
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
He doesn't want to be spotted.