Clothing jokes
My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.
When your mom tells you there's a present in the laundry room,
The present: Laundry.
*gunshot*
An emo kid sees his clothes hanging to dry, and he says to his clothes, "I wish I were you!"
Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I see myself in them.
What does a storm cloud wear under his raincoat? Thunderwear.
What does a ripped jacket and a golfer have in common?
They both have a hole in one.
The priest had a very holy shirt.
I bought a sweater and it started building up static electricity.
So I got another one free of charge.
What did the shirt say to the pants?
Belt.
Are your ankles having a party? Because I think your pants should come on down.
A man walks into a doctor's office, naked and wrapped in Glad Wrap.
The doctor replies with: "I can clearly see your nuts."
A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners.
“Come again!” says the woman behind the desk.
“No, it’s curry this time.”
Drawers!
If you kayak with a cap on and the kayak capsizes, whether or not the cap falls off depends on the cap size.
I went out to buy some camouflage shirts the other day. Couldn't find any.
"Nice pants. Can I test the zipper?"
Why do you Scotchmen wear kilts?
Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.
What do nail polish and panties have in common?
Both come off with alcohol.
Chuck: Do you have holes in your underpants?
Teacher: No, of course not.
Chuck: Then how do you get your feet through?
What did the hat say to the tie?
"I'll go on ahead, while you just hang around!"