Clothing jokes
What does Sonic wear when he goes to the beach? A speedo.
When your mom tells you there's a present in the laundry room,
The present: Laundry.
*gunshot*
What did the shirt say to the pants?
Belt.
What does a storm cloud wear under his raincoat? Thunderwear.
I bought a sweater and it started building up static electricity.
So I got another one free of charge.
What does a ripped jacket and a golfer have in common?
They both have a hole in one.
The priest had a very holy shirt.
Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I see myself in them.
Are your ankles having a party? Because I think your pants should come on down.
A man walks into a doctor's office, naked and wrapped in Glad Wrap.
The doctor replies with: "I can clearly see your nuts."
A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners.
“Come again!” says the woman behind the desk.
“No, it’s curry this time.”
What do you call mouse sneakers? Squeakers!
Drawers!
If you kayak with a cap on and the kayak capsizes, whether or not the cap falls off depends on the cap size.
I went out to buy some camouflage shirts the other day. Couldn't find any.
I need to get new shoes; one of these isn’t right.
What do you call a chair with a hat?
I don't know; the real question is, why was the chair wearing a hat?
A man went to buy 5 undies, so he said, "Hi, 5 undies, please, 1 for each weekday." Then another man comes and said, "Hi, 7 undies please, 1 for each day, and they'll finish cleaning by Sunday." So the cashier said, "Now that's more like it!" And then another person said, "Hi, 12 undies please, wait, I'm gonna double check... January... fe"
What did the shoes say to the pants?
"SUP, BRITCHES!"
I bet you're naked under all those clothes. Slut.