Clothing jokes
I have a vest. If I cut off my arms, it's a jacket!
The DNA told the tailor that he couldn't find his genes.
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator ;)
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up as an altar boy.
Pep called; they want their unpadded bra back.
How does a peadophile help a kid with maths? He adds the bed, divides the clothes, and multiplies with the whole classroom.
What does a depressed person and a jacket have in common?
They’re both hanging in the closet.
Your mum (mom) so fat, she wore a yellow T-shirt, they said "Taxi!"
Chuck Norris and Superman had a bet. The loser had to wear their underwear on their pants.
Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense. Baby, we didn’t spend all that time in the closet for nothing.
POV: You're at school and you just enjoy your day.
Now once you found a bully and he said, "I will burn you in fire," then you just punched him out of the school and got detention. You escaped and walked home, but the bully came and ROASTED you. He threw you in the garbage, but you took off his clothes and even his underwear. You escape the bin and took a shower and had a good day after.
Why do girls wear classic rock T-shirts? Because they are stupid little bitches who need to grow some fashion sense because wearing old shit doesn't make you unique.
I saw a kid on the curb while I was on a walk, and he was in baggy clothes, and I said, "Are you an orphan?" He said, "Yeah." And the orphan said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Ur parents."
What do you call a dinosaur with a cowboy hat and cowboy boots?
A Tyrannosaurus Tex.
A computer science student is studying under a tree, and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, "Where'd you get that?"
The student on the bike replies, "While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, 'You can have anything you want.'"
The first student responds, "Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."
What did the shirt say to the pants?
Belt.
What do lemons 🍋 wear in the rain?
Yellow jackets.
I got some new jeans yesterday, until I realized they didn't fit me around the waist, so I went looking for a belt. I couldn't find one. Then I had a really good idea. I could attach a ton of watches together to make a belt! But then I just thought it was a waste of time.
"What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?"
"Sofishticated."
I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"
He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"