Clothing jokes

You can assume a horse is called a great jumper when the horse’s name is “Polo Neck”.

Stupid Mary Jane was swinging on the swing.

Her momma said, "Stupid Mary Jane, don't swing so high, the boys will see your underwear!"

Stupid Mary Jane laughed and laughed. She knew she wasn't wearing no underwear.

If you kayak with a cap on and the kayak capsizes, whether or not the cap falls off depends on the cap size.

A man walks into a doctor's office, naked and wrapped in Glad Wrap.

The doctor replies with: "I can clearly see your nuts."

A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners.

“Come again!” says the woman behind the desk.

“No, it’s curry this time.”

Drawers!

I went out to buy some camouflage shirts the other day. Couldn't find any.

Chuck: Do you have holes in your underpants?

Teacher: No, of course not.

Chuck: Then how do you get your feet through?

What did the hat say to the tie?

"I'll go on ahead, while you just hang around!"

I need to get new shoes; one of these isn’t right.

What do you call a chair with a hat?

I don't know; the real question is, why was the chair wearing a hat?

Why does Waldo wear stripes?

He doesn't want to be spotted.

A man went to buy 5 undies, so he said, "Hi, 5 undies, please, 1 for each weekday." Then another man comes and said, "Hi, 7 undies please, 1 for each day, and they'll finish cleaning by Sunday." So the cashier said, "Now that's more like it!" And then another person said, "Hi, 12 undies please, wait, I'm gonna double check... January... fe"

I have a vest. If I cut off my arms, it's a jacket!

I bet you're naked under all those clothes. Slut.

What did the shoes say to the pants?

"SUP, BRITCHES!"

💔 The Broken Family 💔 . Part 1

Girl: Mom, dad tried to have sex with me last night.

Mom: Are you serious?? (Shocked)

Girl: Yah. He said I must kiss him after he didn't want to let me go.

Mom: Am gonna kill ur dad (Angry)

Girl: Please mom, we still need him, who will buy use food and clothes. You don't have a job mom.

Mom: But what he did was wrong.

Girl: I know.

(SOUND OF A CAR COMING IN)

Mom: Is that ur dad.

Girl: Yes Mom

Comment Part 2

A man once went to a doctor because his leg was turning blue.

The doctor said that his leg had to be amputated as it was getting poisonous.

The man then got plastic prosthetics.

Next day even the prosthetics started turning blue.

After much examination, the doctor found that the patient's pants were shedding color.

Why don't amputees ever get cold? They're always wearing their stump warmers.

There's nothing quite like being told I'm wrong by someone who depends on me for food, clothing, and shelter.