Clothing jokes

What do you call a chair with a hat?

I don't know; the real question is, why was the chair wearing a hat?

I need to get new shoes; one of these isn’t right.

What did the hat say to the tie?

"I'll go on ahead, while you just hang around!"

I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink.

Turns out it was the fridge.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it?

A waist of time!

What do nail polish and panties have in common?

Both come off with alcohol.

"Nice pants. Can I test the zipper?"

Why do you Scotchmen wear kilts?

Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

Someone told me I looked gay today. I told him that my clothes just came out of the closet this morning.

When should you discourage your husband from exercising and dieting? When he wants to fit in your clothes!

What does a dog do in a dresser?

It pants!

I wore a purple outfit to school, and some Indian kid called me Thanos, so I called him Vision and tried pulling the red dot off his head.

A man went to buy 5 undies, so he said, "Hi, 5 undies, please, 1 for each weekday." Then another man comes and said, "Hi, 7 undies please, 1 for each day, and they'll finish cleaning by Sunday." So the cashier said, "Now that's more like it!" And then another person said, "Hi, 12 undies please, wait, I'm gonna double check... January... fe"

I have a vest. If I cut off my arms, it's a jacket!

I bet you're naked under all those clothes. Slut.

What did the shoes say to the pants?

"SUP, BRITCHES!"

💔 The Broken Family 💔 . Part 1

Girl: Mom, dad tried to have sex with me last night.

Mom: Are you serious?? (Shocked)

Girl: Yah. He said I must kiss him after he didn't want to let me go.

Mom: Am gonna kill ur dad (Angry)

Girl: Please mom, we still need him, who will buy use food and clothes. You don't have a job mom.

Mom: But what he did was wrong.

Girl: I know.

(SOUND OF A CAR COMING IN)

Mom: Is that ur dad.

Girl: Yes Mom

Comment Part 2

A man once went to a doctor because his leg was turning blue.

The doctor said that his leg had to be amputated as it was getting poisonous.

The man then got plastic prosthetics.

Next day even the prosthetics started turning blue.

After much examination, the doctor found that the patient's pants were shedding color.

What do you call a man wearing a rug on his head? Matt.

There's nothing quite like being told I'm wrong by someone who depends on me for food, clothing, and shelter.