Clothing jokes

Your momma's so fat, when she pulls her knickers down, her ass is still in them.

If you kayak with a cap on and the kayak capsizes, whether or not the cap falls off depends on the cap size.

What do you call mouse sneakers? Squeakers!

What do you call a belt with a watch on it?

A waist of time!

I went out to buy some camouflage shirts the other day. Couldn't find any.

I need to get new shoes; one of these isn’t right.

What do you call a chair with a hat?

I don't know; the real question is, why was the chair wearing a hat?

What did the hat say to the tie?

"I'll go on ahead, while you just hang around!"

I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink.

Turns out it was the fridge.

Why do you Scotchmen wear kilts?

Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

A man went to buy 5 undies, so he said, "Hi, 5 undies, please, 1 for each weekday." Then another man comes and said, "Hi, 7 undies please, 1 for each day, and they'll finish cleaning by Sunday." So the cashier said, "Now that's more like it!" And then another person said, "Hi, 12 undies please, wait, I'm gonna double check... January... fe"

I have a vest. If I cut off my arms, it's a jacket!

What did the shoes say to the pants?

"SUP, BRITCHES!"

I bet you're naked under all those clothes. Slut.

💔 The Broken Family 💔 . Part 1

Girl: Mom, dad tried to have sex with me last night.

Mom: Are you serious?? (Shocked)

Girl: Yah. He said I must kiss him after he didn't want to let me go.

Mom: Am gonna kill ur dad (Angry)

Girl: Please mom, we still need him, who will buy use food and clothes. You don't have a job mom.

Mom: But what he did was wrong.

Girl: I know.

(SOUND OF A CAR COMING IN)

Mom: Is that ur dad.

Girl: Yes Mom

Comment Part 2

A man once went to a doctor because his leg was turning blue.

The doctor said that his leg had to be amputated as it was getting poisonous.

The man then got plastic prosthetics.

Next day even the prosthetics started turning blue.

After much examination, the doctor found that the patient's pants were shedding color.

Why did the sperm cross the road?

I put on the wrong socks this morning.

What is found under Michael Jackson's pillow?

Billie's jeans.

Yo momma's so fat, when she bought a fur coat, all animals went extinct.

I saw two guys wearing matching clothing, and I asked if they were gay. They quickly arrested me.