City jokes

What are the two hottest cities in the world? Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

What did Batman do when he went shopping?

Got ham!

Where are you not allowed to go trick or treating as a ghost?

Harlem, New York.

Three men walk into heaven at the same time. They all live in the same city. God asks the first man, "How did you die?" The man says, "I have a heart condition, and I've been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. Anyway, I get home from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hanging off the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guy's fingers! He falls into a bush, so I throw a refrigerator on him." God asks the next man, "How did you die?" The man says, "I was cleaning the windows, and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! Luckily, I fall safely in a bush! But then a refrigerator falls on me!" God asks the third man, and he says, "I was the one in the fridge!"

9 out of 10 doctors recommend for children to drink water instead of soda. That 1 doctor lives in Flint, Michigan.

What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet?

The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

Why are Japanese always so skinny?

Cause last time there was a fat man, an entire city disappeared.

The population in Ireland's capital started rapidly growing. In fact, it's Dublin!

The Trump family are flying from New York to DC when Donald looks down on the cities below.

Trump: "I think I’ll throw a $1000 bill out the window and make some American happy."

Melania: "Oh honey, why not throw ten $100 bills out the window and make ten Americans happy?"

Ivanka: "Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out the window and make 100 people happy."

Pilot: "Why don’t you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?"

What would you call the Eiffel Tower if it falls over? The I Fell Tower!

What happens at night in Bangladesh?

It gets Dhaka.

What is the only place fat people live?

Obi-city.

Has anybody noticed that the New York City football team is the New York Jets? They sure know how to scare the Twin Towers.

All aboard the Magic School Bus! We are going to New York. The second tower has been hit.

Are people from Hamburg called Hamburgers?

A depressed man was caught on top of the Empire State Building with marijuana. Needless to say, he didn't want to come down.

Last words of the mayor of Hiroshima: “What the fuck was that noise?”

I was walking down the streets of Manchester when suddenly I saw Penaldo getting arrested! I heard the officer say, “This time I give you warning, there will be no penalty.”

That’s when Penaldo asked, “No penalty?!” and punched the police officer.

Shame on you Penaldo!

I'm going to make a city just for people with special needs.

I'll call it Downtown.

What time do terrorists arrive in New York City?

9:11 AM