Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris doesn't zoom out; everything moves backwards.

Chuck Norris has been to Mars... that's why there are no signs of life there.

Chuck Norris used to be an orphan.

Because some families were too scared of his bravery to adopt him.

Chuck Norris once said that he didn't like the plane he was riding in. Out of sadness, the plane committed suicide. How, you ask? Ask the Twin Towers.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once pissed in the tank of a semi as a joke.

It is now known as Optimus Prime.

Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.

Once upon a time... Chuck Norris stepped on a Lego. R.I.P. the Lego piece.

Lightning doesn’t strike twice in the same place, but Chuck Norris does.

Chuck Norris was shot with a gun. The bullet was critically injured.

If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1.

Chuck Norris doesn't need to be vaccinated. Vaccines need to be Chuck Norrised.

John Cena once insulted Chuck Norris. That's why we can't see him anymore.

Chuck Norris: "I block bullets with my beard." Abraham Lincoln: "I catch bullets with my skull."

Chuck Norris once stared a basilisk in the eye, and it DIED!

Chuck Norris didn't join the army, the army joined Chuck Norris.

Stephen Hawking once stood up to bow down to Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once took down a fence. Maybe you heard of it, the Berlin Wall.

Chuck Norris is the only man that ever had sex with my wife and survived. Oh, how did I survive?

Fortunately, being her husband, I was the one person she wasn't fucking.

Have you heard anything about this Chuck Norris guy? Yeh, me neither.