Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris jokes

Matter

Why are there so many jokes about Chuck Norris, but not about Bruce Lee?

Bruce Lee was no joking matter.

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  • Dollar

    Chuck Norris gets paid $2 million a month training Bear Grylls how to survive in the “harshest conditions on earth.”

    Titanic

    The Titanic was going through the ocean. Chuck Norris was on the ship, and they never crashed into an iceberg. He just shat off the front of the ship!

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  • Rain

    It did not rain very often when Chuck Norris was a kid.

    Why?

    Because his favorite childhood song was "Rain Rain Go Away."

    Carpet

    Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. It's not dead, just afraid to move.

    Jupiter

    Chuck Norris can toss Jupiter at the Sun with his bare hands.

    And he still cannot win a fighting match against Bruce Lee.

    Fight

    Chuck Norris: "Chuck Norris doesn't fight, he just allows you to lose."

    Me: "How come did you lose Return of the Dragon?"

    Hell

    Chuck Norris once went to hell.

    After that, the Devil only falls asleep after he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

    Genius

    Chuck Norris is a genius for this: Walker Texas Ranger = Wrangler Karate Sex.

    Inspiration

    The inspiration for Chuck Norris to be in Walker, Texas Ranger is by decoding each of the letters in the title.

    Walker, Texas Ranger = Wrangler, Karate, Sex!

    Name

    Chuck Norris came up with the name for Walker, Texas Ranger in sheer brilliance. You can arrange each letter for the name of the show to display the true name being "Wrangler Karate Sex!"