Chuck Norris jokes
The bear rug on Chuck Norris's floor isn't dead, it's just afraid to move.
Chuck Norris doesn't play video games. Video games play Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris' dick is so big that it has its own dick. And his dick's dick is still bigger than Bruce Lee.
Chuck Norris doesn't ride horses.
Horses ride him.
Why are there so many jokes about Chuck Norris, but not about Bruce Lee?
Bruce Lee was no joking matter.
Chuck Norris once did a roundhouse kick... and successfully completed the bottle cap challenge.
Chuck Norris gets paid $2 million a month training Bear Grylls how to survive in the “harshest conditions on earth.”
The Titanic was going through the ocean. Chuck Norris was on the ship, and they never crashed into an iceberg. He just shat off the front of the ship!
Chuck Norris is the opposite to Oliver Savage.
It did not rain very often when Chuck Norris was a kid.
Why?
Because his favorite childhood song was "Rain Rain Go Away."
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. It's not dead, just afraid to move.
Chuck Norris can toss Jupiter at the Sun with his bare hands.
And he still cannot win a fighting match against Bruce Lee.
Chuck Norris destroys the yo mama!
Chuck Norris: "Chuck Norris doesn't fight, he just allows you to lose."
Me: "How come did you lose Return of the Dragon?"
Chuck Norris hasn’t decided yet when Jimmy Hoffa can come out.
Chuck Norris died, but Death was too afraid to tell him.
Chuck Norris once went to hell.
After that, the Devil only falls asleep after he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
What is Chuck Norris' favorite Sonic song?
"Open Your Heart."
Chuck Norris came up with the name for Walker, Texas Ranger in sheer brilliance. You can arrange each letter for the name of the show to display the true name being "Wrangler Karate Sex!"
Chuck Norris doesn't breathe. He holds air hostage.