Chuck Norris jokes
Chuck Norris doesn't fly on airplanes.
Airplanes fly on Chuck Norris.
The Titanic was going through the ocean. Chuck Norris was on the ship, and they never crashed into an iceberg. He just shat off the front of the ship!
Chuck Norris is the only man that ever had sex with my wife and survived. Oh, how did I survive?
Fortunately, being her husband, I was the one person she wasn't fucking.
Have you heard anything about this Chuck Norris guy? Yeh, me neither.
Why were the Twin Towers knocked over? Chuck Norris was leaning on one of them.
A long-haired child once took a bite of Chuck Norris's brain. He later became known as Albert Einstein.
Chuck Norris trained Dude Perfect how to do it.
Chuck Norris is...
What? You don't need to know what he is. He's just, Chuck.
Chuck Norris' dick is so big that it has its own dick. And his dick's dick is still bigger than Bruce Lee.
Chuck Norris strangled someone with a cordless phone.
Why is Kanye West's haircut actually years of work by many doctors to piece together skull fragments like a jigsaw puzzle?
Because Kanye once interrupted Chuck Norris on the set of "Walker Texas Ranger."
Chuck Norris: "Chuck Norris doesn't fight, he just allows you to lose."
Me: "How come did you lose Return of the Dragon?"
you.
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 and 976 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone, and money falls out.
I have fun going on them roller coasters that go really high up and sitting by random people, and once we get to the high point, I look at the stranger and go "wham" and unplug their seat belt.
Chuck Norris once went to hell.
After that, the Devil only falls asleep after he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't breathe. He holds air hostage.
Chuck Norris hasn’t decided yet when Jimmy Hoffa can come out.
Chuck Norris gets paid $2 million a month training Bear Grylls how to survive in the “harshest conditions on earth.”
Chuck Norris told those three men how to climb Trump's wall.