Chuck Norris jokes

All the Muslims are pissed off because 24 hours after Chuck Norris went to heaven there were no more virgins left.

Chuck Norris doesn’t go to heaven; Heaven comes to Chuck Norris. RIP.

Chuck Norris doesn't play video games. Video games play Chuck Norris.

The bear rug on Chuck Norris's floor isn't dead, it's just afraid to move.

It did not rain very often when Chuck Norris was a kid.

Why?

Because his favorite childhood song was "Rain Rain Go Away."

Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

Chuck Norris doesn't breathe. He holds air hostage.

Foi o Chuck Norris que fez o parto da sua mãe.

Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. It's not dead, just afraid to move.

Chuck Norris met God once. Now God is the puny human.

Chuck Norris once went to hell.

After that, the Devil only falls asleep after he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is a genius for this: Walker Texas Ranger = Wrangler Karate Sex.

Chuck Norris died, but Death was too afraid to tell him.

What is Chuck Norris' favorite Sonic song?

"Open Your Heart."

The inspiration for Chuck Norris to be in Walker, Texas Ranger is by decoding each of the letters in the title.

Walker, Texas Ranger = Wrangler, Karate, Sex!

Chuck Norris came up with the name for Walker, Texas Ranger in sheer brilliance. You can arrange each letter for the name of the show to display the true name being "Wrangler Karate Sex!"

Chuck Norris strangled someone with a cordless phone.

Chuck Norris can toss Jupiter at the Sun with his bare hands.

And he still cannot win a fighting match against Bruce Lee.

Chuck Norris' dick is so big that it has its own dick. And his dick's dick is still bigger than Bruce Lee.

Chuck Norris once ate ONE Lays potato chip.