Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris jokes

Day

The day after Chuck Norris was born, he drove his mom home from the hospital.

Room

In the average room, there are about 2,894,638 items that Chuck Norris can use to kill you, including the room itself.

Cobra

A cobra once bit Chuck Norris. After hours of agonising pain... it died.

MVP

MVP means: “Most Valuable Player.”

In Chuck Norris' case: “Most Vaginas Penetrated”.

Mirror

When Chuck Norris breaks a mirror, the mirror gets seven years of bad luck.

God

God said, "Let there be light." Chuck Norris said, "You have to say please first."

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  • Sonic

    Sonic can run around the world in a second.

    In that same time, Chuck Norris can run around the Universe.

    Plane

    Chuck Norris one-shot down a German fighter plane by pointing his finger at it and yelling "bang!"

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  • Number

    Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number. You answered the wrong telephone.

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  • Sun

    Chuck Norris doesn't get sun burns. The sun knows better.

    Street

    There once was a street named Chuck Norris. They had to change the name because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

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  • Living Room

    Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his living room. It's not dead or anything, it's just too scared to move.

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