Chuck Norris jokes
Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his living room. It's not dead or anything, it's just too scared to move.
In the average room, there are about 2,894,638 items that Chuck Norris can use to kill you, including the room itself.
Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number. You answered the wrong telephone.
Bees don't sting Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris stings bees.
Chuck Norris knows the location of Atlantis.
So that's why...
One time Chuck Norris peed in the gas tank of a semi truck as a practical joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris can pick an apple from an orange tree and make the best lemonade you've ever tasted.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Some people can juggle chainsaws. Chuck Norris can juggle people juggling chainsaws.
Chuck Norris once said that he didn't like the plane he was riding in. Out of sadness, the plane committed suicide. How, you ask? Ask the Twin Towers.
MVP means: “Most Valuable Player.”
In Chuck Norris' case: “Most Vaginas Penetrated”.
Chuck Norris doesn't zoom out; everything moves backwards.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Chuck Norris was a kamikaze pilot. 12 times.
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.
Chuck Norris lit a campfire, and humans saw the sun for the first time.
Chuck Norris decided to sell his urine as an energy drink, which you now know as Red Bull.
A cobra once bit Chuck Norris. After hours of agonising pain... it died.
They say Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer, too bad he doesn't cry.
There once was a street named Chuck Norris. They had to change the name because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.