Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

John Cena once insulted Chuck Norris. That's why we can't see him anymore.

Lightning doesn’t strike twice in the same place, but Chuck Norris does.

"Chuck? How many push-ups can you do?" -- "All of them."

Chuck Norris didn't join the army, the army joined Chuck Norris.

God said, "Let there be light." Chuck Norris said, "You have to say please first."

Once upon a time... Chuck Norris stepped on a Lego. R.I.P. the Lego piece.

Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

Chuck Norris has been to Mars... that's why there are no signs of life there.

Chuck Norris sleeps with the light on, not because he is afraid of the darkness, but because the darkness is afraid of him.

Have you heard anything about this Chuck Norris guy? Yeh, me neither.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.

If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1.

Chuck Norris once pissed in the tank of a semi as a joke.

It is now known as Optimus Prime.

There once was a street named Chuck Norris. They had to change the name because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

Bees don't sting Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris stings bees.

Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number. You answered the wrong telephone.

Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his living room. It's not dead or anything, it's just too scared to move.

Chuck Norris and Time had a race.

Result: Time is still running...

Some people can juggle chainsaws. Chuck Norris can juggle people juggling chainsaws.