Chuck Norris jokes

Jesus could walk on water, and Chuck Norris can swim through land.

Chuck Norris can make a fire with two ice cubes.

Chuck does not cut butter with a knife, he cuts a knife with butter.

Chuck Norris and Superman had a bet. The loser had to wear their underwear on their pants.

Chuck Norris wins a staring contest. -- Against Medusa.

Chuck Norris and Medusa had a staring contest. Medusa turned to stone.

Chuck Norris can make an omelet from Kinder surprise.

Some people can juggle chainsaws. Chuck Norris can juggle people juggling chainsaws.

One time Chuck Norris peed in the gas tank of a semi truck as a practical joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 20 people, then it exploded.

Chuck Norris once ran all the way around the equator and kicked himself in the back.

When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.

Before the chicken or the egg, there was only Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris knows the location of Atlantis.

Chuck Norris lit a campfire, and humans saw the sun for the first time.

Chuck Norris can drift with a horse.

When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he's pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris orders his coffee black, without water.

Chuck Norris doesn't zoom out; everything moves backwards.

Chuck Norris has been to Mars... that's why there are no signs of life there.