Chuck Norris Jokes

Anonymous

God said, “Let there be light.” Chuck Norris said, “You have to say please first.”

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Anonymous

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

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Anonymous

Chuck Norris wins a staring contest. – Against Medusa.

Anonymous

Jesus could walk on water and Chuck Norris can swim through land

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Ethan Smith

When Chuck Norris breaks a mirror, the mirror gets seven years of bad luck.

Anonymous

Chuck Norris can make a fire with two ice cubes

Anonymous

Chuck Norris once stared a basilisk in the eye, and it DIED!

gay for Jules

Death once had a near chuck experience.

gay for Jules

some people can juggle chain saws Chuck Norris can juggle people juggling china saws

gay for Jules

Chuck Norris and medusa had a staring contest medusa turned to stone

Anonymous

Chuck does not cut butter with a knife, he cuts a knife with butter.

Anonymous

If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the Movie 300, the movie would be called 1.

Fighter Plane

Chuck Norris one shot down a German fighter plane- by pointing his finger at it and yelling “bang!”

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Anonymous

Chuck Norris docent get sun burns the sun knows better

Anonymous
in Pokémon

Chuck Norris threw one Pokéball – and caught 'em all.

Anonymous

Bees don’t sting Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris stings bees.

Anonymous

Chuck Norris can make an omelet from Kinder surprise

Jemm

Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.

Anonymous

Chuck Norris doesn’t flush the toilet.

He scares the shit out of it.

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Anonymous

Chuck Norris once ran all the way around the equator and kicked himself in the back