Chuck Norris: “I block bullets with me beard”. Abraham Lincoln: “I catch bullets with my skull”

chuck Norris would have died a couple of years ago but death hasn’t built up the courage to tell him

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Chuck Norris can make a fire with two ice cubes

Jesus could walk on water and Chuck Norris can swim through land

Chuck does not cut butter with a knife, he cuts a knife with butter.

Chuck Norris one put a plastic bag on his head, and the bag suffocated to death.

Chuck Norris one shot down a German fighter plane- by pointing his finger at it and yelling “bang!”

Bees don’t sting Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris stings bees.

Chuck Norris docent get sun burns the sun knows better

When Chuck Norris breaks a mirror, the mirror gets seven years of bad luck.

Chuck Norris and Time had a race…

Result: Time is still running…

Chuck Norris once stared a basilisk in the eye, and it DIED!

some people can juggle chain saws Chuck Norris can juggle people juggling china saws

If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the Movie 300, the movie would be called 1.

John Cena once insulted Chuck Norris. That’s why we can’t see him anymore.

Chuck Norris doesn’t flush the toilet.

He scares the shit out of it.

Chuck Norris decided to sell his urine as an energy drink, which you now know as RedBull

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a uni cycle

Chuck Norris once ran all the way around the equator and kicked himself in the back