Infinity jokes

Why did half of the world not see Avengers: Endgame?

Because half of them were Thanos snapped in Avengers: Infinity War.

Bf: What do you think about our love?

Gf: Count the stars in the sky.

Bf: Aww, it's infinity.

Gf: Nope, just a waste of time.

A guy is at his locker, and a girl comes and says, "Hey, I love you."

He says, "Okay, cool." She then replies and says, "Well, what do you think about our love?" He says, "Count the stars."

Then she says, "Oh, infinity!" and he replies with, "Nope, it's just a waste of time."

My Wife: How much do you love me??

Me: Count all the stars.

My Wife: Aww, infinity.

Me: No, a waste of time.

What does Buzz Lightyear and an orphan's parents have in common?

They go to infinity and beyond.

Your mom is so fat Buzz Lightyear had to say "To infinity to beyond" to leave her house.

An infinite amount of mathematicians walked into a bar. The first ordered a pint, the second ordered a half pint, the third ordered a fourth-pint, etc. The Bartender eventually walked up and gave them two pints and said: "You mathematicians don't know your limits."

Girl: How much do you love me?

Me: Count the stars in the sky.

Girl: Aww, it's infinite!

Me: No, just a waste of time.

Bro's hair looks like Buzz Lightyear, going to infinity and beyond!

Girlfriend: Babe, what do you think of our love?

Me: Look at the stars in the sky.

Girlfriend: Aww... it’s infinity, right?

Me: No, it’s a waste of time.

Girlfriend: I’m breaking up with you.

Me: Whatever, when I take out the trash, I think of you.

You're so fat,

when you stepped on the scale,

Buzz Lightyear came out and said,

"To infinity and beyond!"

9: I am higher than you.

8: No, you're not!

(8 flips to his side)

Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.

When there are more suicidal people, it means there are fewer suicidal people. That means there is an infinite generator of them.

How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do?

All of them.

I'd tell you a joke about infinity, but I'm afraid it will never end.

Yo mama is so strict that Thanos couldn't collect the Infinity Stones until he had done his homework.

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers, and says, "You guys should know your limits."