Character jokes
You're going to suffer the wrath of Gru!
Why is Goofy named Goofy? Because he is goofy!
So a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and he asks the bartender for a drink. So he gives the guy a drink. So he gives the guy a drink. So he gives the guy a drink.
What's green and is dangerous?
Kermit with a flip knife.
Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.
Director: Hi, we are making a huge cliffhanger in this movie.
Actor: Really? What do I do?
Director: You will play the part of the cliff. (holds up hanging rope)
Rey: Join me, Ben, you don't have to be alone anymore, join me.
Ben: But Rey, I've always been solo.
*Shrek* Bend ogre.
I once auditioned to be in Sausage Party. I thought I filled the role well.
"You look like Barney, I'm choking you too, and your face is turning all purple and blue!"
Joaquin Phoenix as The Joker is like Heath Ledger if he overdosed on prescription drugs... Oh, wait. He already did.
How do you make a pink Smurf?
You peel the skin off.
Mickey and Minnie are getting a divorce. The divorce lawyer says to Mickey: "Mickey, you can't divorce Minnie because she is crazy," to which Mickey responds: "I'm not divorcing her because she's crazy, I'm divorcing her because she's f**king Goofy."
[God creating a jellyfish]
God: How about an evil bag?
What is the difference between Bin Laden and Santa? One stops at the top of the skyscraper.
What’s Brock from Pokemon's favorite food?
Brockoli.
Why is he called Ben 10? Because he is ten in long.
Back in ancient Greece, there was a Greek Skyrim, but instead of FUS ROH DAH, the main character said, "Me damnit, Ganymede, get the #10 lightning bolt, I hate it when Helios lets his kids drive!"
If you don't get this, look up the story of Phaethon, and if you STILL don't get it, then you are dumb.
After watching Star Wars 8, I have to say Snoke was half the man I expected him to be.
Porky