Character jokes
Old McDonald cuts himself. E-m E-m-O!
Trump cut funding for Sesame Street.
I think he's jealous that the characters on Sesame Street can count to 10.
Why did Severus Snape cross the road wearing an invisibility cloak?
So no one would know what side he was on.
Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear were having a picnic.
Fozzie said, "Do you know where Ms. Piggy is? I haven't seen her all day."
Kermit said, "I don't know, but this extra bacon cheeseburger sure tastes great."
What do you call a fat transgender midget?
Jigglypuff.
I don't like Trump because he has ruined my kind's greatest man, Donald Duck.
What Minecraft mob do autistic people relate to the most?
The Enderman.
Falco: Dreaming of a day when I don’t hear people say I’m a knockoff Fox, knockoff Fox.
Fox: Dreaming of a day when you die in a fire and I get all your aerial skills.
Falco: Wat...
A conman, a mentally handicapped person, and a Russian spy walk into a bar.
And the bartender asks, "What will it be, Mr. President?"
Mickey Mouse is speaking with a divorce attorney...
...and the attorney says, "I'm sorry Mickey, I've gone over all of Minnie's medical history and I find no evidence of mental illness."
To which Mickey replies, "I didn't say she's crazy! I said she's fucking Goofy!"
Little Timmy is hanging out with Rapunzel, and he mentions Hugo and a few other characters from Varian And The Seven Kingdoms, and she responds with, “Who the frick are you talking about? Since I don’t know them, I got a surprise for you!” She wraps him up in Christmas wrapping paper labeled "For Eugene."
Why do you call a fat midget?
Jiggly Puff.
Your race's favorite Star Wars Characters:
Arab...Admiral Ackbar (Allahu Akbar)
East Asian...Qui-Gon Jinn (Ching-Chong-Wing-Wong)
Jew...Rey (Ray)
Black...BB-8 (BBC)
Italian...Jabba the Hutt (Pizza Hut)
German...Admiral Piett (Hitler)
Why was Sonic fast?
To be rolling around at the speed of sound, got places to go, gotta follow my lead.
Paul Walker started in 3 movies: Fast and Furious, Gone in 60 Seconds, To Die Hard.
Roses are red, violets are blue, My name is Bucky, And I am stucky.
What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1.
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught on fire.
What do you call Dr. Disrespect on top of a building?
Diddler on the Roof.
Emma Watson gets hotter and hotter in the Harry Potter movies when you’re watching in reverse order.