Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they don't know where home is.
Have you ever stepped foot in Stephen Hawkins house? cause hasn’t either.
Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks, they tell how many lies a person tells."
"Oh, cool."
"This is Mother Teresa’s clock; the clock hasn’t moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense."
"This is Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."
"Where’s Trump’s clock?"
"Oh, we’re using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it’s so true.
Why did the orange fall off the tree? Because he went out on a limb.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It don't matter what you call it, 'cause it ain't gonna come to you.
Me and my brother talking about relationships.
Me: We live kind of differently.
Brother: We're sort of alike.
Me: We're not alike.
Brother, because he's taken: 'Cause you don't have a boyfriend!
My thoughts: You're right. 'Cause I have a girlfriend!
Why did the orange go blind? Because he was low on vitamin C.
Roses are red violets are blue cause comes near my Willy
why did sally drop her ice cream? cause she has no arms
Are you a wild girl, cause I want to catch you with my pokeballs?
Why was the baseball player stuck in the stadium?
'Cause he made his home run.
Call me Kobe Bryant, cause I'm gonna helicopter out of this one.
Q: Why are the 49ers called the 49ers?
A: 'Cause they can't make it past the 50-yard line.
Why did the boy not cross the road?
Because he was on thin ice.
Oh my god, she hit me with a bat,
'Cause she was transgender.
Iran? More like tin can, cause we’re going to kick their teeth in, am I right?
Why does Samsung sell TVs? 'Cause they make them! 😂🤣
I'm hard right now.
'Cause you're a DICKstraction. ;)
Why did the crows form a charity?
Because it's all for good caws!
Fart jokes are so popular because they are real stinkers.
