Cause jokes
Orphans would be upset if they went to FamilyMart.
'Cause they sell oden, not a family.
One man was very depressed because he lost everything. He lost his job. He lost his home, and he lost his wife. So he went lonely into the forest to grieve.
Suddenly, with his head raised up, he sees Santa Claus walking by. "Santa?" he asks. "Why are you early? It is not even Christmas?"
"Ho, ho. Don't worry about me. Let's worry about you instead," says Santa. "What is the problem, my friend?"
"I lost everything good in my life. I got fired from my job. My wife divorced me. I lost my house."
Santa: "I can help you. You can wish three things you want in life, and I'll give it to you."
Man: "My first wish is I want my house back."
Santa: "Done!"
Man: "My second wish is I want 1 million in cash in my bank account."
Santa: "Done!"
Man: "My third wish is I also want my job back!"
Santa: "Done, but before I actually give you those wishes, I have to hump you."
Man: "Okay. Let's do it."
So Santa Claus takes off his pants to hump the man.
After they are done humping, Santa asks the man: "How old are you?"
Man: "I am 35 years old."
Santa: "And still believe in Santa Claus??!! HOHOHOHO!!!"
There were two snakes slithering along when one snake said to the other snake, "Are we poisonous?" "Idk why?" The other snake responded, "'Cause I just bit my tongue!"
Are you a waterfall?
'Cause I'm falling for you.
Pickup line: Are you the internet? 'Cause I feel a connection.
I might have to back down on this because it is usually aimed for little children.
Do you have a halo?
'Cause I can give it to you.
Me: Hey! Do you know how to tie a knot?
Person: Yea, why?
Me: Cause I need help tying this noose :)
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
The people in the Twin Towers, because they went through over 100 stories in less than 10 minutes.
Me playing a game...
What did God just stop? Are hearts cause we didn't kill each other.
Like if that was good.
Why did the cow cross the road?
'Cause he wanted to go to a moooooooooooooooooooooooovie.
Are you a grave, 'cause I want you on me?
Are you suicide, 'cause you're always on my mind?
Why are blind people gay?
Cause.
Why did the farmer eat a fork?
'Cause he's a dumbass.
(Only Ninjago fans understand XD)
If you look outside and it's really windy, it's really cloudy, and the sky looks greenish... you better run, 'cause it has to be Morro!
Why did the car drive over the cake?
'Cause it was in tiers!! Lol, sorry this ain't funny.
I wish my hair was depressed.
Cause then it would cut itself.
People were talking and asking what's the worst day of the year for them.
Person 1: "The first day of school because I don't like going to school."
Person 2: "Valentine's day because it's too lovey."
Me: "Oh nice, mine is my birthday because it's when I was born."
Bitch: Nice eyebrows.
Me: Yeah, where's yours, motherfucker?
Bitch: (Realizing she shaved them off cause she thought it would look cool)