Car jokes
I left a ticket to a WNBA game on the dashboard when I went to go get the groceries.
A burglar broke in and left another one on the dashboard.
I didn’t know how to fasten my seatbelt. Then it clicked.
Three Things I Want For Christmas From Santa:
1. A Lambo
2. A House
3. UR MOM
Bully: I wouldn't bother wasting my time on a shit person like you.
Me: At least I have a brain unlike you.
Bully: Well at least I have a mom unlike you.
Me: Well your mom is so fat that she got stuck in her car and started bleeding Nutella?
Bully: How would you know that?
Me: Because she told me herself.
Bully: How exactly?
Me: She's on the phone right now.
Phone: *High pitched animal noises*
Me: Told you so!
Why did the frog take the bus to work today?
His car got toad away.
Your teeth are so spread out my mom can drive her car through the gap in your teeth.
What’s the difference between a Mercedes and a Skoda?
Princess Di wouldn’t be seen dead in the back of a Skoda...
A young boy was picked up by a strange young man who put him in his car and drove into an abandoned farm.
"This place looks scary," the kid said.
And the man replies, "I know right, I have to walk out of there alone."
I hope all of you had a great merry Christmas, a happy Hanukkah, a good whatever you celebrate! I got so much this year, over $300 of fishing gear, a small 2011 coin mint collection, some coins from the Nazi party, a remote control car, 100 dollars, and more. Say what you guys got in the comments.
POV you are drunk and telling jokes and no one is listening 😭😭😭
POV: you
The police officer in London, who used fake Covid rules to arrest a young woman, drive her more than 50 miles out of London in a hire car, murder her, and do whatever to her, has appealed against his Whole Life tariff.
He should be relieved it was only that! Could've been worse... could've married her!
Yo mama is so pretty, she could get in a car crash because boys are staring at her.
Yo mama is so fat she can't even get in her own car because she's fat.
Why did Hittle kill himself? Because he wanted to buy a car, but then Hittler farted.
If you run next to a car, you get tired, but if you run behind it, you get exhausted.
I'll be here all week... sadly enough for you.
Yo mama's so fat, I swerved to miss her in my car and ran out of gas.
A Catholic priest finds a young boy crying at the top of a cliff.
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
The boy points down. “Mummy and Daddy were in the car and it went over the edge.”
The priest can see the flaming wreck below. He looks around and sees no one else is about and starts to unbutton his belt.
“It’s really not your day, is it?”
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a fly? It's the sound they make when they hit the windshield.
My wife told me I could never, ever build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!