So I’m riding in the car with my dad and all of a sudden I smell something rank without warning.
My dad starts laughing at me.
Dad: “Son! That must have been an orphan fart! You know why?”
Me: “Why dad?”
Dad: “Because it ain’t got no pop!”
It's not bad that my car doesn't beep when reversing.
The screams of the passers-by are enough for me.
A man hits a woman with his car. Whos fault was it? The man, why was he driving in the kitchen?
What did the frog do when his car broke down?
It was toad.
What color is your Bugatti?
Did you see that car crash today where the guy got the entire left side of his body cut off? He's all right now
A man died and went to heaven. Every time you cheat, you get a worse car.
The first man cheated 5 times; he got a Jeep. The second man cheated 3 times; he got a BMW. The third man never cheated; he got a Lamborghini.
The second man saw the third man sad. He said, "Why are you sad?" The third man said, "I saw my wife with a scooter."
Why did the kid cross the road?
Because he wasn't wearing his seat belt! 😂
How many hooker's fit in a Cadillac? About 4 in the trunk if you stack em right
I saw an orphan on the street i said where’s your parents he cried and said my mum and dad died in a car crash 😆😆😂😂🤣
you know your fucked when the speed bump screams.
I was visiting an orphanage and started to pull in close to the building. My car hit 3 speed bumps, and it caught me off guard. I got out of my car, looked under my tire, and saw three orphans wedged in my tire. I started to get worried, but then I thought to myself... nobody will miss them.
I’m going back to the house to get some stuff for my dad and then I’m going to have a car and a birthday party came up for the weekend at the end of the week I was going to get my birthday cake for the day
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair and said hot wheels
Here’s one for the Aussies: What’s the difference between an echidna and a police car? All the pricks are on the inside.
Hey My sister said your Mattick so I decided to to swim with her and she threw a ball at me so I went to my dad and she said why did you tell dad she was crying. Because I’m not getting a car seat
Two natives sit in the bar getting shit faced. Almost closing time brother you gonna snag yeah I'm taking her home he walks over she gathers her things. Walking out together he takes her to his car outback they stay messing around then start having sex he starts to get carried away he looks at down at her she looks up at him and says slow down cousin your going to fast...
I ran over an emo yesterday? I wanted to let him see pitch black.
I threw a lamp at an emo? I tried to lighten up his day.
I like my women like I like my traction control: disabled.
What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits a car's windshield at 100 mph?
Its ass.
