Cant jokes
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your cock into a girl's mouth.
The tortoise can't go out to play, Or sell his house or rent it. For when he moves, his house moves too, And nothing can prevent it.
Katy Perry can't sing, can't dance, doesn't write music, is unbelievably ugly, and is unable to decipher maths or science. Really though, I didn't realize going down on a record executive would later lead her to be one of the people able to go to space.
Do you know why dinosaurs can't eat hyenas?
Because they're dead! The last thing they ate was some rock.
Why can't Americans play chess? They have no towers.
Your cut [is] so broke, even Bob the Builder can't fix it.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They ain't got no home to run to.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
What do a blind kid and an orphan have in common?
They can’t see their parents.
Why can't Chinese people play baseball?
Because they ate the bat.
Why can't England play chess?
Because they have no queen, and they will soon lose their king.
Guys, I know how to stop racism. Delete the word "racism." People can't be something that doesn't exist.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie?
He can’t walkie or talkie.
Why can’t you take an Asian guy golfing? Because you can’t drive. Every time he does, he tries to put a hole-in-one.
What's the difference between three cocks and a joke?
Your mom can't take a joke.
Why are there no chemists in Africa?
Because you can’t take tablets on an empty stomach.
I can’t take my dog to the park anymore.
Why?
The ducks keep trying to eat him.
Why would they do that?
Because he’s pure-bread.
There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.
Ms. Smith: Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze, and I would stay like that.
Little Johnny: Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.
What’s the difference between jelly and jam?
You can’t “jelly” it in her ass.