Cant jokes
Why can't orphans celebrate Christmas?
Father Christmas left them.
Why can’t orphans go to college?
'Cause they have no one to talk to.
Why can’t Germans call a taxi? *does taxi calling motion*
My girlfriend's last words:
"I can’t wait to become a mom!"
A woman decides to take a well-earned vacation, and she asks her brother to watch her cat while she's away.
On the second day, when she calls her brother to see how things are going, he tells her bluntly that the cat is dead.
The woman is really upset and goes into hysterics, before saying, "You can't tell a person bad news so bluntly. You should break the news gently. The first day, you should have said that Fluffy was stuck on the roof and couldn't get down. The second day, you could have said that she had fallen, but the vet said she would be okay. Then on the third day, you could have said that she died from complications."
The next day, the woman calls her brother again and asks how things are. He says, "Well, Grandma is stuck on the roof and can't get down..."
Reasons
You're so ugly and fat, and you're so lazy you can't even get your ass up and walk.
How many people can jump higher than a mountain? None. Mountains can't jump.
Why can't orphans play video games?
Because they can't access the home screen.
Why can't orphans play basketball?
Because they don't know where home is.
There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.
She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."
Son said, "But I can't see."
Mom said, "That's the point."
Why can't an orphan be gay? They have no one to call "daddy."
Why can't male orphans be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find their way home.
Remember, kids: the school shooter can't get you if YOU are the shooter.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A dead goldfish.
What's the difference between tuna, a piano and glue?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
I was lip to lip yesterday, and now I can't get the cum out of my mouth.
Why can't orphans eat Doritos? Because it's family size.
I once told an orphan to go big or go home. He replied, "I can't get home; it got bombed."
Why can't orphans have a five-star GTA because they're not wanted?