Cant jokes
How do you make a blond snowman? You can't, you have to hollow out the head.
A boy went to a doctor, and the doctor said, "I can't treat you." The boy asked why, and the doctor said, "Because I'm a family doctor."
One day I came to my mom and said, "MOM!!! I can make a butterfly!"
Mom: "No you can't..."
Me: *throws butter out the window* Me: "Look I made a butterfly!"
lol this isn't funny but I hope you liked it.
Yo mama so poor, she can't even pay attention.
I'm doing something Stephen Hawking can't do... pressing "I'm not a robot."
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They can't see their parents.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she's a woman? No, seriously, why can't she drive? Because she's dead.
What do you call a German that can't see? A Notsee.
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball?
Because they ate the bay.
Why is it OK to hit an orphan?
Because they can’t tell their parents.
Why can’t orphans watch Netflix?
Because they don't know what age rate they are…
Why can't religious women be raped? Because they are taught to never say no!
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't find home plate.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of toddlers.
What idiot said to Stephen Hawking, "You can't run before you can walk"?
Doin your mom doin doin your mom
You know we straight with doin your mom
I'm doin your mom. Yes yours!
I first saw her in the Wal-Mart pickin out your drawers.
Big Dolly Parton hair like an 80s prom queen
But her ass was lookin' good all up in those mom-jeans.
I approached her in the checkout line, and said yo baby wassup?
She had two gallons of milk, and I was starin' at her jugs.
Five minutes later she agreed to get with me
So we went and rocked the minivan like Giggity. Giggity. Giggity.
I was ridin' your mom like she was Mario Kart.
I gave her a lift back to her crib cause her car wouldn't start.
She invited me in the house, and we started makin' out again.
How many times I tap that ass? OVER 9000!
Yeah. She called me Pledge cause I knocked the dust off it.
She later made me a sandwich and she cut the crust off it.
Cause she knows how I like it, and that I'm a little young
To be in the bed, butt-naked doin your mom.
Doin your mom doin doin your mom
You know we straight with doin your mom
I like your mama's big butt, and I cannot lie.
You other brothers can't deny that she's fly.
We make sexy time, yes and every night I tap that.
She saw me butt-naked, now she thinks I'm half black.
But your moms the best, the super M.I.L.F.
Cause she loves to toss the salad even though she ain't a chef
And I blame it on the al-al-al-cohol
But If I were you, I wouldn't kiss your mom on the mouth at all.
She likes the Donkey-Punch. She likes the Dirty Sanchez.
Sometimes she even likes to fool around in your bed.
She likes rough sex with handcuffs and I'll be honest
She likes me to Chris Brown her when she acts like Rihanna.
She's so therapeutic. When I need to cure my restlessness
I br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br motorboat your moms breastestess.
I didn't wanna tell you, but I had to write this song
Cause I'm in your house every night doin your mo-om.
Doin your mom doin doin your mom
You know we straight with doin your mom
I'm havin' sex with your mother
That makes me better than you.
I'm havin' sex with your mother
That makes me better than you.
When Bob the Builder looks at your hairline, he says, "We can't fix that."
Why do orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home plate.
Dwarf: pulls down the flap for the mirror.
Also dwarf: can’t see.
Why can't Hitler join track?
Because he can't even finish a race.