Cant jokes
Why can't England play chess?
Because they have no queen, and they will soon lose their king.
Guys, I know how to stop racism. Delete the word "racism." People can't be something that doesn't exist.
There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.
Why can’t orphans go on field trips? Because they need parent permission.
Why can’t orphans eat a big bag of chips?
They are family sized.
Why can't antelopes get married?
Because they can't elope.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is...
Why can’t I drive? 'Cuz my dad never showed me how, yet.
What did the melon say to the avocado when he proposed?
Can't elope.
What type of comedy can't Steven Hawking do?
Stand-up comedy.
I saw your mother get into a white Ford Taurus on the corner of Milton and Halliburton, and you're still trying to tell me she ain't got no job cause she "can't get a ride to work?"
A woman in labor suddenly shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! Didn't! Can't!"
"Don't worry," said the doc. "Those are just contractions."
Wow, I can't believe you'd take the time to read this!
Why can't you be gay and in a wheelchair?
Because you can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
Do you know why dinosaurs can't eat hyenas?
Because they're dead! The last thing they ate was some rock.
The tables in my class are straight, but I can’t say the same thing for your hairline.
(The plane) we can’t go over it, we can’t go under it. Oh no, we have to go through it.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they have no home to go to.
Why can't the orphan play baseball?
It doesn't know where home is.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't run home.