Cant jokes
Why cant Americans play chess?
Because they lost their towers...
Why can't Asians golf?
Because they can't drive.
Why can't Stephen Hawking win any arguments?
Because he can't stand up for himself.
Why can't two eggs tell jokes?
Because they will crack each other up!
My bully to his mom after getting "cooked" by me: "Mama, I can't find my hairline!"
My bully. 😭
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
Why can't a homeless person be seen around your wife?
Because she'll ask for her cardboard box! Ahahah.
Why can't Paris play chess? Because they don't have their towers (also known as rooks).
I pulled my kid out of school after a woke teacher taught my six-year-old about pronouns! Yesterday, it was "he/she," today, "they/it," tomorrow, "I/you/we!"
What do blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
Your mama can't walk up the stairs because she eats too much chips.
They call me Mr. Distracted, truly a spastic. Can't talk to my folks cause they say I'm pro- problematic. Really fantastic. Can't focus unless I take meds then it's magic. My brain is like traffic, always fucking active. But never at the right time, pretty fucking tragic it happens.
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500m of a school zone?
Because he's dead.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because he doesn't know where home is.
Just 'cause I have a big penis doesn't mean I can't have sex.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
Why can't orphans have cookies?
They are home made.
They're making a new Alien movie.
There are so many aliens you can't keep track.
There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.
Why can't England play chess?
Because they have no queen, and they will soon lose their king.