Cant jokes
I pulled my kid out of school after a woke teacher taught my six-year-old about pronouns! Yesterday, it was "he/she," today, "they/it," tomorrow, "I/you/we!"
what do blind people and orphans have in conman? they both cant see they're parents...
Your mama can't walk up the stairs because she eats too much chips.
They call me Mr. Distracted, truly a spastic. Can't talk to my folks cause they say I'm pro- problematic. Really fantastic. Can't focus unless I take meds then it's magic. My brain is like traffic, always fucking active. But never at the right time, pretty fucking tragic it happens.
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500m of a school zone?
Because he's dead.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because he doesn't know where home is.
Just 'cause I have a big penis doesn't mean I can't have sex.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
Why can't orphans have cookies?
They are home made.
They're making a new Alien movie.
There are so many aliens you can't keep track.
There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.
Why can't England play chess?
Because they have no queen, and they will soon lose their king.
Michael Jackson goes to the doctor.
Michael Jackson: "Help, doctor, I've been shot!" Doctor: "I can't fix that, but I can change your skin color so it doesn't happen again."
Why can't there be a gay disabled person?
Because a fruit can't be the same as a vegetable.
Why did the chicken cro-
UM, ACTUALLY, THE CHICKEN CAN'T CROSS THE ROAD UNLESS IT'S UNDER SOME ROOSTER OR HEN SUPERVISION OR ELSE THE CAR WILL CRASH THE CHICKEN, AND THEY WILL DIE. 🤓
Why can't British people play chess?
Because they lost their queen.
So I walked into my bathroom to clean some stuff, and no one ever told me you can't put phones in the bathtub!
"White people can't jump..."
"You must not have seen the Twin Towers on 9/11."
In the hospital, I saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep. The ICU was going beep beep beep. I think that's why she can't sleep, so I turned it off. She's asleep forever now. Nighty night.
Why can't two Asians make a white baby? Because two "Wong's" don't make a white.