Cant jokes
The penis has a sad life. His hair is always a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him.
He also stands up for kids who can't defend themselves.
When Sally was little, she came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, I can't believe it! Little John collects Pimmel at school."
Mom: "No?"
"Like in heaven?" said the mother.
"No, juice," Sally said.
We’re so poor, we can’t even afford free stuff.
My husband wants to tell me about my childhood.
Ok, I can't access the panel without the password.
Why can't lesbians wear makeup while on a diet?
Because they can't eat Jenny Craig while Mary Kay is sitting on their face.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they have no home to run to.
Don't tell me to accept trannies for who they are when they can't even accept themselves for who they are.
Why cant Americans play chess?
Because they lost their towers...
Why can't Asians golf?
Because they can't drive.
An orphan walked up to St. June's Family Hospital.
Doctor: "Sorry kid, you can't be in here."
Doctor: "I am so sorry, I cannot see you today."
Orphan: "Oh, okay. What about tomorrow?"
Doctor: "No, I can't see you ever."
Orphan: "Why?"
Doctor: "Because I am a family doctor."
Why can't Stephen Hawking win any arguments?
Because he can't stand up for himself.
What do you get when you cross a Chinese and an Indian man?
A car thief who can't drive.
Comedy is so woke these days. You can't make fun of any disadvantaged group.
Except people with Alzheimer's. They'll just forget you made the joke in five minutes anyway.
Why can't you play Uno with a Mexican? Because they'll steal all the green cards.
Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?
They'll fall right through his hands.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They won't be able to find home.
What did the orphan say to the blind kid?\n\n"Hey, we both can't see our parents!"
Why can't two eggs tell jokes?
Because they will crack each other up!
Why can't New Yorkers play chess?
Because they lost their towers.