Cant jokes
Yo mama so fat, even Dora can’t explore her.
Is it just me or is your personality fake as well? Can't tell because everything about you is.
You're so dark that even God's light can't shine upon you.
What's a game a paraplegic kid can't play?
Hopscotch.
Danny just bought a new game from Steam for a penny.
About one hour later, Danny asks his mother: "Mom, I am not able to start the game."
Mom asked, "Why?"
Danny answers: "It says 'Press any key' on the screen, but I can't find an 'Any' button on my keyboard."
An old man is sitting on a park bench, crying his eyes out. A jogger stops, feels bad for him, and asks, "Sir, what's wrong?"
The old man sobs, "I'm 85 years old. I have a 25-year-old wife at home who is a supermodel. She cooks me gourmet meals every day, she keeps the house spotless, and we spend every night in total, passionate bliss."
The jogger looks confused. "Wait... that sounds amazing! Why are you crying?"
The old man looks up, tears streaming down his face, and wails: "I can't remember where I live!"
Why do trannies have such high rates of suicide?
Because they want everyone to accept them, but they can't accept themselves.
Which hole talks faster? Your mouth or your ass? Can't tell the difference because they both run shit at once.
The penis has a sad life. His hair is always a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him.
He also stands up for kids who can't defend themselves.
When Sally was little, she came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, I can't believe it! Little John collects Pimmel at school."
Mom: "No?"
"Like in heaven?" said the mother.
"No, juice," Sally said.
We’re so poor, we can’t even afford free stuff.
My husband wants to tell me about my childhood.
Ok, I can't access the panel without the password.
Why can't lesbians wear makeup while on a diet?
Because they can't eat Jenny Craig while Mary Kay is sitting on their face.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they have no home to run to.
Don't tell me to accept trannies for who they are when they can't even accept themselves for who they are.
Why cant Americans play chess?
Because they lost their towers...
Why can't Asians golf?
Because they can't drive.
An orphan walked up to St. June's Family Hospital.
Doctor: "Sorry kid, you can't be in here."
Doctor: "I am so sorry, I cannot see you today."
Orphan: "Oh, okay. What about tomorrow?"
Doctor: "No, I can't see you ever."
Orphan: "Why?"
Doctor: "Because I am a family doctor."
Why can't Stephen Hawking win any arguments?
Because he can't stand up for himself.