Can jokes
One thing you can ask Mario:
"Can you jump up and down for me?"
I was at my lecture at Oxford. Professor Albert Pessistein was leading the lecture, teaching us new equations. I asked where I can find a drink, due to my dying of thirst. He said, “big games my friend.”
He then proceeded to teach us, “The greater the Big games, the higher the Bottling!”
I was in my first space mission for NASA. As we were orbiting the asteroid belt, I saw a figure. I couldn’t tell who it was, but he spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. He said, “I’m looking for my freekicks and penalties, can you help me find them?” We then decided to aid him.
Can you imagine The Count from Sesame Street having sex? "1 orgasm..., 2 orgasm..., 3 orgasm..., ah ah ah!"
What always roars, but cannot talk? What always moves, but cannot walk?
A waterfall.
What's the difference between a hippie chick and a can of Spam?
After 6 months in the woods, you'll still eat the can of Spam.
Doctor: I’m so sorry, sir, but you only have a couple months left.
The sir: My children will be devastated.
Doctor: But I have a shot that can change that.
The sir: Whatever it takes.
*Suppressed gunshots*
Why can an orphan relate to a pack of bananas?
Because they both split away from their family.
What is the difference between a laser beam and a trash can?
A trash can doesn't rage.
Can you guys comment on my nuts jokes (aka Willma, Bofa, and Savor)? I just want to see if people don't think it's funny.
Dear Kenya, love of life,
Thanks for commenting on my jokes, and thanks for being a nice person to me! Love, Jaden. You can tell by the emojis 🥰😍❤️💞!
Love you a million times more!
Helen Keller can use Hodled's words because they are so bad.
How can you tell that a woman is asking for sex? Wait for her to drop a bomb on you.
What's an orphan's favorite sport?
Baseball, because that's the only time they can run home.
Did you know that an orphan can take a selfie and a family photo at the same time?
What can hold anything on the moon? A crater.
When someone keeps talking while you are trying to focus on something, what is the rudest thing you can say to them?
SHUT UP!!!
I think I might apply for a job cleaning mirrors.
It’s a job I can see myself doing.
Some people think emo jokes are funny, but I think it can cut both ways.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so they can fetch some pee. Jack fell down and broke his whole body. Jill just laughed and didn’t care, so now they have a daughter.