Can

Can jokes

JFK

You know what would be the best last thing to say before you die? "No, you certainly can't." JFK's assassin certainly can!

Ghost

I'm thinking about telling my daughter there's a ghost in the house. At least then I can wear a bed sheet at night and fuck her without her being suspicious.

Food

A: Do you eat food?

B: Yes...

A: You can sit on deez nuts then!

B: Omg I have depression now.

Hooker

How many dicks can fit inside of a hooker? I don't know, ask your wife.

Memes

Beer

A Roman guy walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says, "Can I have 5 beers please?"

Rabbit

Can a cook and clean for real? No, I do not want no rabbit hare in my house.

Day

What day can you have sex on?

Answer: Wednesday. Why? Because it's hump day.

Orphan

I went to the orphans to paint a picture of their parents so they can actually talk to them.

Knock knock

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Madam.

Madam who?

Madam foot got caught in the door, can you please open it!

Steak

A man walks into a bar and sees a piece of steak on the ceiling.

The cashier says, "If you can grab it, your meal's free!"

The man then said, "Nah, the stakes are too high."

Mirror

I'm supposed to put a joke here.

But I can't find a mirror...can you find one yourself?

I'm sure you'll laugh.

Sex

Dad: Uh, yeah!

Son: Mom, Dad, what are you doing!

Parents: Sex!

Son: What?

Parents: Look, you can spectate!

School Bus

What is the difference between a school bus and a baseball?

You can throw a baseball, and you can’t throw a school bus.