Can jokes
How can you light up a candle in a ship which does not contain any instrument and you are alone with just a packet of candles?
Answer: Just throw one candle in the sea; the boat will become lighter.
God- make a grumpy old man president.
Angel- why?
G- cause I said so-name him Trump.
A- okay.
G- make him not pay taxes.
A- okay...
Fast forward to 2020
G- you know that grumpy old man?
A- yea...
G- make him create a deadly virus named after a beer.
A- Krona.
G- exactly.
A- why do you hate humans so much?
G- because I can.
Have you heard the word of the day? It’s "legs".
Now, let’s go back to my place and I can spread them.
What kind of bug can tell time? A clock-roach.
How many apples can you grow on a tree? All of them.
Memes
How can you tell if a pig is hot? It's bacon.
How can you tell when a comic passes gas? Something smells funny.
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener.
Some people think emo jokes are funny, but I think it can cut both ways.
What’s the difference between Diana and Casper the ghost?
Casper can go through walls, Diana can't.
Deez nuts, can we get much higher?
Boioioioing boioioioing, my name Jeff.
Arabic Nokia ringtone, bingchungus, wholesome 100, everyone liked that, Keanu Reeves chungus, Ugandan Knuckles, YouTube poop XDDDDDDDDDDDD.
You're so bald, I can see what's on your mind.
Grass is green. I am the queen. If only I can see you scream on the screen.
Things that rhyme with green, queen, screen: clean, between, been, ...
My wife got mad at me because I took our life savings and brought golden retrievers.
Like, bitch, we can get gold because of these golden retrievers.
Your hairline is so big, not even a black hole can eat it!
Person 1: Somebody farted.
Person 2: No, all I can smell is your breath.
What's the difference between Jesus and Christmas tree lights?
They can both flash.
Can teachers give homework to orphans?
Who can relate?
NOT A RICK ROLL https://youtube.com/shorts/nnEQ5aWyO9U?feature=share
What does a man masturbating and a mayo bottle have in common?
They can both squirt out their cum.