Came Jokes

Did your dad ever tell you he was going to get milk... But then never came back lol? 😅

My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.

I told him my dad never came back with it.

My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog 🐕, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.

Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than five moves.

Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.

Why do orphans like boomerangs? Because they actually came back...

A photo of a row of old books. The titles on the spines create a funny sentence: THE KING WHO CAME SHARTS. LET US FOLLOW HIM.

I’m going back to the house to get some stuff for my dad, and then I’m going to have a car and a birthday party come up for the weekend at the end of the week. I was going to get my birthday cake for the day.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite drink?

Milk, because no one came back with any.

I told a crying kid to wipe his tears and come back smiling.

He never came back the next day, says the local news.

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I decided to take her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

Hi Freshfry, hi Alex, I did not see your messages yesterday because I was at my brother's soccer game, and then people came to our house till 11:00. Lol, sorry :)

Some weird kid came into school today with his tagging gun. He tagged my friend really good. At the end, he tagged 12 students and 1 teacher. VICTORY ROAYAL ✌

A chair came to life and said, "I'm alive!"

I said, "Yes, I know I am."

God promised John that if he came in 1st, he would get an eternal life, but instead he came in 5th and got a kettle!

How do you embarrass a female archaeologist?

Give her a used tampon and ask which period it came from.

What came before the dinosaurs?

Your hairline, because it's so far back!

The short kid came earlier than I thought. Guess he came with such short notice.

The bears came home. Daddy bear said, "Who's been eating my porridge?" said, "Who's been in my porch?" Baby bear said, "Never mind about the porridge, who knocked the telly?"

A king ordered to execute a gay man.

The gay man came and said, "Please don't behead me, have pity!" The king replied, "I will have pity because I will impale you, let you enjoy your last moments."