Came jokes

The bears came home. Daddy bear said, "Who's been eating my porridge?" said, "Who's been in my porch?" Baby bear said, "Never mind about the porridge, who knocked the telly?"

A king ordered to execute a gay man.

The gay man came and said, "Please don't behead me, have pity!" The king replied, "I will have pity because I will impale you, let you enjoy your last moments."

The doctor said I would make it, but then Spider-Man came in holding a PS5.

Chuck Norris came up with the name for Walker, Texas Ranger in sheer brilliance. You can arrange each letter for the name of the show to display the true name being "Wrangler Karate Sex!"

Yo mama so ugly, when she entered the scare factory, she came out with a job application.

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

Putin: You came from the West and showered me with gifts.

Trump: And your prostitutes, they showered me with piss.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. It was evolution.

Your hairline looks like something that came off the bottom of a Reese's cup.

My friend was getting bullied so I went over and asked him to stop. It went a little bit like this:

Me: Dude, leave her alone. Him: Beat it, b*tch. *lots of arguing and swearing* Me: Ya know! The smartest thing that ever came outta your mouth was probably a penis. Him: *walks away*

A man comes to a bar and has a drink. Then his bully came to him and stole his drink. Then the bully asked, "What's wrong?"

The man said that "I'm trying to kill myself. I tried getting hit by a train, but the train went on a different track. Then I tried to jump off a bridge, but I fell on a boat full of pillows. Then I tried to poison myself."

Then the bully says, "Then what?" Then the man replied, "You just drank it." Then the man left.

One time an ant was collecting food. Suddenly, a wind pushed the ant into the river. The ant said, "Help! Help!" and a pigeon heard it. Then, he grabbed a leaf and threw it in the river. The ant climbed on it, and then the pigeon and the ant became best friends. But one time, a hunter came to kill the pigeon. When the ant saw him, she bit his leg and the pigeon flew away from the arrow, and that's how friends are, everybody.

Two drunk men spot a pig on some old farmer's land.

And they were real hungry (or so they said), and they both decided to take the pig with them into their car and eat it somewhere.

And so they did, and the farmer came out with a gun while they hurriedly drove off, and the farmer said, "Well goddammit, if it was a pig they wanted, why didn't they just take my wife?"

Have you seen the movie "Constipated?"

It hasn’t come out yet.

Yo mama is so fat, when she came on this website, the whole server crashed!

Billy moved in with 69 pedophiles when he was 8. Many "tears" came across his cheeks.

What is the difference between Jesus and the devil?

When the devil came to Earth, he was the one with the nail gun.

What came first, the chicken or the egg?

I don't know, go google it.

What’s the difference between Anne Frank and Harry Potter?

Only one came out of the chamber.

A girl in the shop was getting bullied. She came to me saying, "I’m getting bullied." I told her, "Stand up for herself."