Came jokes

So I was playing on my phone, and my mom said to go and take the trash out, so I pick up my sister and threw her in the garbage bin and said, "Mom told me to." And when I came back in, my mom said not to do that ever again, but then I told her that she says not to lie, so I was doing the right thing. 👍

My dad came out of my step-sister's room as I came out of my step-mum's room.

The kid's dad was a magician because he disappeared and never came back.

What time would it be if Godzilla came to school? Time to run!

A kid came to the orphanage with a dead fish. She was crying.

Why was the kid crying in the orphanage? Because someone came for the fish.

Mummy, how was I born?

Mummy replied, "Well, your father and I got married, and soon I became fat and you came out, and then in, out, in, out, and after you did that a million times, you were born."

I was walking in a park today and a little girl I asked, "Where are your parents?" She said, "Gone. My dad went to go get the milk and never came back," and I said, "Oof."

One day an orphan threw a boomerang, but it came back, just like its parents.

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies.

She is not “fun to be around.”

When Bob got on that sled, I don't know how he went so smoothly, but that is the invention of bobsled peoples.

And then Mark came in.

My boyfriend dumped me. Guess who came back crawling for his zimmer frame?

One day at school, little Johnny was not listening, so the teacher came up to him.

Teacher: "At the end of this ruler is someone dumb."

Little Johnny: "Miss, which end were you referring to?"

You're so fat that when you went sunbathing at the beach, Greenpeace came along and pushed you back in the ocean.

When I was 11, my mom came home from the bar super drunk that night, and I just wanted to know if they knew where the cat was because I heard a noise. We had a loooooooong talk the next morning.

A salamander came by me the other day and he AXOLOTL questions. Ba dum tss!!!

So a lady came up to me today at the bank, and she asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

My little league football debut was a lot like the first time I had sex. I was beaten, bruised, and bloody, but at least my Dad came.

One time I fucked this chick so hard, she almost came back to life.

Bully: You're so short you hand-glide on a chip.

Short person: Well, at least I don’t look like a giraffe that just came out of an oven!

August 2020: LeafyIsHere gets terminated on Youtube for harassing Pokimane.

Billy, a toxic kid in Leafy's fanbase: "Imane's life is a joke, that's why I call her Jokeimane."

A person who simps for Pokimane: "And you look like you came from a farm, Hillbilly."