Came jokes
Someone told me I looked gay today. I told him that my clothes just came out of the closet this morning.
I came across a pic of the oldest man on earth on IG. He was 132 years old.
I commented "age is just a number" for him; now I'm banned.
I just encountered a father and son moment over some milk.
The dad finally came back with the milk!
I can't have my Oreos 😭 Why?
My dad still hasn't came back with that God damn milk.
One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.
I walked up to some Arabs and said "Alawakba," then here came the second tower.
One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.
Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?
The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.
Someone ordered pizza on a tower... A plane came.
Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”
“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”
I was in Afghanistan and I had been captured by the Taliban. I was going to get the death penalty.
Suddenly a man came out of nowhere and offered to take the penalty. It was my idolo Penaldo. He missed the penalty. Now I will die. Shame on u Penaldo!
I know you came here to feel good about yourself...
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn't have a fireplace.
I've recently been treated with Asthma and have been prescribed penicillin. One day I was taking it and a man screaming "SUIII" came into the room and stole it! He thought the penicillin would give him penalties. I couldn't breathe, shame on you Penaldo for ruining my life!
Bro, are you an Oompa Loompa? Because you look like you just came from the chocolate factory.
Your mom is so fat, when she swam in the sea, Wales came up to her and said, "We are family, even now you’re fatter than me."
How many emos does it take to fix a light?
I don't know because they never came down.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it actually came back.
Have you ever wondered why orphans hate milk?
'Cause their dad never came back with it.