Came jokes

One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”

Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.

That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.

Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?

The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.

A family put their kid and their dog in an orphanage but came back for only the dog.

Why did the question come to life? Answer: The adding, subtracting, times, dividing by, and equals signs came to life and squished pages.

Why did the orphan scream "wolf"? Because people actually came back.

I saw a girl at my job and we ended up fucking, then the test came back and I have hives from my sister.

Why was the emo jealous of the orange?

It came precut.

You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.

Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.

But at least lemonade came out!

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”

“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”

Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”

I came on for an orphan joke.

Then I realized they are a joke.

Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."

*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"

Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.

That made my father very mad, as we didn't have a fireplace.

I know you came here to feel good about yourself...

I've recently been treated with Asthma and have been prescribed penicillin. One day I was taking it and a man screaming "SUIII" came into the room and stole it! He thought the penicillin would give him penalties. I couldn't breathe, shame on you Penaldo for ruining my life!

I was in Afghanistan and I had been captured by the Taliban. I was going to get the death penalty.

Suddenly a man came out of nowhere and offered to take the penalty. It was my idolo Penaldo. He missed the penalty. Now I will die. Shame on u Penaldo!

Why do you not have milk with your Oreos?

Daddy never came back with the milk.

Have you ever wondered why orphans hate milk?

'Cause their dad never came back with it.

Bro, are you an Oompa Loompa? Because you look like you just came from the chocolate factory.

How many emos does it take to fix a light?

I don't know because they never came down.