Came jokes

A toddler was giving her daddy a tea party.

She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea, her Mom came home. Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!"

Putin: You came from the West and showered me with gifts.

Trump: And your prostitutes, they showered me with piss.

Someone told me I looked gay today. I told him that my clothes just came out of the closet this morning.

I just encountered a father and son moment over some milk.

The dad finally came back with the milk!

I walked up to some Arabs and said "Alawakba," then here came the second tower.

Knock knock, Who's there? Dad. You came back?

One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.

I came across a pic of the oldest man on earth on IG. He was 132 years old.

I commented "age is just a number" for him; now I'm banned.

I was in Afghanistan and I had been captured by the Taliban. I was going to get the death penalty.

Suddenly a man came out of nowhere and offered to take the penalty. It was my idolo Penaldo. He missed the penalty. Now I will die. Shame on u Penaldo!

Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."

*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"

I saw a girl at my job and we ended up fucking, then the test came back and I have hives from my sister.

A family put their kid and their dog in an orphanage but came back for only the dog.

I know you came here to feel good about yourself...

One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”

Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?

The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.

Someone ordered pizza on a tower... A plane came.

Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.

That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.

I can't have my Oreos 😭 Why?

My dad still hasn't came back with that God damn milk.

I bribbled a kid and he was bribbled hem so hard that his balls came off.

Why was the emo jealous of the orange?

It came precut.