Came jokes

You're adopted, that's why your mom or dad never came back with the milk!

The peanut gained confidence and finally came out of its shell.

Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project?

Work came to a grinding halt.

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair and guess who came crawling back!

So a lady came up to me today at the bank, and she asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

I don't understand why, when I went to the shooting range today, the police came. Like, bro, I always go to elementary schools.

Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."

*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"

A salamander came by me the other day and he AXOLOTL questions. Ba dum tss!!!

The twin towers are just like my mom and dad, they went to work and never came back.

What did the mom tell her son when he asked for a bowl of cereal? "Sorry your dad wasn't came back with the milk yet."

One day an orphan threw a boomerang, but it came back, just like its parents.

Jack and Jill went up the hill each with $20. Jill came down with $40. Fucking whore!!!!

I saw a girl at my job and we ended up fucking, then the test came back and I have hives from my sister.

So little Susie came home and said, "Mom, little Johnny showed me his pecker."

And her mom said, "WHAT?!"

And little Susie was like, "Yeah, it reminded me of a peanut." Her mom said, "Oh, because it was so small?"

Susie said, "No, because it tasted salty."

I know you came here to feel good about yourself...

Why does the orphan drink hot coco with water?

Because his dad never came back with the milk.

A boy named Jimmy was riding to Hell to save his brothers and sister. That is the last place he pissed. There came across the Devil.

Part 1

The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, but it came plain.

Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.

Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.

I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.

What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.

Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.

What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.

What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.

What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.

What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.

Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.

What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.

Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.

Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.

A family put their kid and their dog in an orphanage but came back for only the dog.