The peanut gained confidence and finally came out of its shell.
Came Jokes
Why couldnât the peanut finish the project?
Work came to a grinding halt.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair and guess who came crawling back!
So a lady came up to me today at the bank, and she asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
I don't understand why, when I went to the shooting range today, the police came. Like, bro, I always go to elementary schools.
Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."
*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"
A salamander came by me the other day and he AXOLOTL questions. Ba dum tss!!!
The twin towers are just like my mom and dad, they went to work and never came back.
What did the mom tell her son when he asked for a bowl of cereal? "Sorry your dad wasn't came back with the milk yet."
One day an orphan threw a boomerang, but it came back, just like its parents.
Jack and Jill went up the hill each with $20. Jill came down with $40. Fucking whore!!!!
I saw a girl at my job and we ended up fucking, then the test came back and I have hives from my sister.
So little Susie came home and said, "Mom, little Johnny showed me his pecker."
And her mom said, "WHAT?!"
And little Susie was like, "Yeah, it reminded me of a peanut." Her mom said, "Oh, because it was so small?"
Susie said, "No, because it tasted salty."
I know you came here to feel good about yourself...
Why does the orphan drink hot coco with water?
Because his dad never came back with the milk.
A boy named Jimmy was riding to Hell to save his brothers and sister. That is the last place he pissed. There came across the Devil.
Part 1
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, but it came plain.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what itâs like to be wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They donât know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphanâs family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter âfâ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphanâs least favorite song? We Are Family.
Whatâs an orphanâs least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
Whatâs an orphanâs least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.
Whatâs an orphanâs least favorite type of music? House.
Whatâs an orphanâs least favorite store? Home Depot.
Whatâs an orphanâs favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
What beer do orphans drink? Fosterâs.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because itâs the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
A family put their kid and their dog in an orphanage but came back for only the dog.
One dark stormy night when I was 8 years old, I woke up in the middle of the night busting to pee. Half asleep, I walked down the stairs and toward the bathroom and heard a strange whirring sound that sounded like a ghost. When I opened the door, I felt a strange cool breeze and the light came on automatically, and the ghostly sound stopped. Terrified, I did what I had to and went back to bed.
The next 3 nights, the same thing happened, and finally, I decided I had to tell my mom no matter how hard to believe it sounded. The next night I woke up, I went into my parents' room and woke my mom up and said, "You have to come with me and see this, it's really important." Half asleep, she murmured, "Oh, what is it? Can't it wait until the morning?" I pleaded, "No, you have to come see, our bathroom is haunted by a ghost. When I go in the middle of the night, I can hear a ghost sound. Then when I open the door, I feel the cold as it swoops through me, and the light comes on automatically." She yawned and said, "Oh, so that's who's been peeing in the refrigerator."
