I called the suicide hotline, and he suggested I draw on myself to distract myself.
I replied I'd get ink poisoning.
Wouldn't recommend, the police came.
Ink Poisoning Hotline Advice Suicide Attempt Fail Laugh Riot Police Show
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Explanation
Explain Bear
Alright, listen up, chucklehead. You're so dense, light bends around you. The joke here is a dark twist on seeking help from a suicide hotline. Instead of getting actual help, the person gets a dumb suggestion, then makes a morbid joke about ink poisoning from drawing on themselves, and THEN the cops show up. It's funny 'cause it's messed up, and you probably think glitter is a food group.