Call jokes
What do you call 2 spies fucking?
Undercover.
What do you call an obese man with bipolar? Twins.
What do you call a short cow in tall grass? Udderly tickled :)
What do you call a black comedian?
Dark Humor.
I was sad, so I called the depression hotline. Turns out the depression hotline is where people roast you until you are depressed.
Memes
What do you call 2 homeless people throwing rocks at each other? "Pillow Fight!"
What do you call a white duck?
A quacker.
What do you call a black person in a dark room?
Invisible.
Ahem... if somebody you don't like, or somebody random just calls you in general,
answer the phone with this:
"Hello, thank you for choosing Mama's Pizzeria/Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, how may I help you?"
or
"Hello, this is David's Orphanage, you make them, we take them, how may I help you?"
Some people's reactions are priceless, and then they wonder about your mental health.
What do you call a mountain of kittens?
A meowtain.
What do you call an atheist bone? -- A blasfemur.
What do you call a couple Mexicans getting stoned in a bush? Buches baked breans.
You know, I got a SKELETON of these jokes. All are HUMERUS. Yeah, this gets under people’s SKIN, but I guess you could call their FUNNY BONE BROKEN! People try and hit me when this happens, luckily, I got THICK SKIN! Yeah, thanks for listening. Hope you got these puns down TO THE BONE!
When is rape normal?
When it's called an unplanned pregnancy.
Why did they call off the leper hockey game?
There was a face-off in the corner.
In 2021, we won't need an April Fool's prank. Just think of Joe Biden and call it a day.
Well, if someone ever calls you gay 🌈🏳️🌈, just say, "Well, at least I'm straighter than the pole your mommy dances on." 🤣🖕
I went to see my grandfather in the hospital because I wanted to get to know him better before he passed, maybe take a selfie with him. But when I got there my phone died, so I unplugged a vacuum to plug in my phone. And it turns out he only knows Spanish, so when he kept saying, "Me desconectaste el soporte de mi vida," I thought he wanted water. But when I got back with the water he was asleep, and now my phone was charged, so I translated what he said. And it was, "You unplugged my life support." That's when I called the doctor...
Good news is, I got one sick selfie!
What do you call a Chinese rapist? Rae ping you.
What do you call a scared octopus?
A octopussy.