Call jokes
What do you call a vagina with teeth?
A vicious cunt.
Just accidentally emailed a porn link to a co-worker... So I emailed ten other co-workers the link and called it a virus.
What do you call a Muslim with Tourette’s? A ticcing time bomb.
I wouldn't call a Suicide Help-line even if my life depended on it.
What do you call a heterosexual man performing fellatio on another heterosexual man?
Bisexual.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot wheels.
What do you call a letter using the bathroom?
The P.
What do you call a Mexican that smokes weed? A baked bean.
What do you call cows that have a sense of humor? -- Laughing stock.
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”
The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”
What do you call a white man in court?
SUPERIOR!
What do you call an obese man with bipolar? Twins.
What do you call 2 spies fucking?
Undercover.
What do you call a short cow in tall grass? Udderly tickled :)
What do you call a black person in a dark room?
Invisible.
I was sad, so I called the depression hotline. Turns out the depression hotline is where people roast you until you are depressed.
What do you call a white duck?
A quacker.
What do you call 2 homeless people throwing rocks at each other? "Pillow Fight!"
Ahem... if somebody you don't like, or somebody random just calls you in general,
answer the phone with this:
"Hello, thank you for choosing Mama's Pizzeria/Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, how may I help you?"
or
"Hello, this is David's Orphanage, you make them, we take them, how may I help you?"
Some people's reactions are priceless, and then they wonder about your mental health.
What do you call an atheist bone? -- A blasfemur.