Call jokes
What do you call 2 homeless people throwing rocks at each other? "Pillow Fight!"
Ahem... if somebody you don't like, or somebody random just calls you in general,
answer the phone with this:
"Hello, thank you for choosing Mama's Pizzeria/Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, how may I help you?"
or
"Hello, this is David's Orphanage, you make them, we take them, how may I help you?"
Some people's reactions are priceless, and then they wonder about your mental health.
What do you call an atheist bone? -- A blasfemur.
What do you call a mountain of kittens?
A meowtain.
What do you call a couple Mexicans getting stoned in a bush? Buches baked breans.
Memes
joe mama roast
You know, I got a SKELETON of these jokes. All are HUMERUS. Yeah, this gets under people’s SKIN, but I guess you could call their FUNNY BONE BROKEN! People try and hit me when this happens, luckily, I got THICK SKIN! Yeah, thanks for listening. Hope you got these puns down TO THE BONE!
When is rape normal?
When it's called an unplanned pregnancy.
Why did they call off the leper hockey game?
There was a face-off in the corner.
In 2021, we won't need an April Fool's prank. Just think of Joe Biden and call it a day.
Well, if someone ever calls you gay 🌈🏳️🌈, just say, "Well, at least I'm straighter than the pole your mommy dances on." 🤣🖕
I went to see my grandfather in the hospital because I wanted to get to know him better before he passed, maybe take a selfie with him. But when I got there my phone died, so I unplugged a vacuum to plug in my phone. And it turns out he only knows Spanish, so when he kept saying, "Me desconectaste el soporte de mi vida," I thought he wanted water. But when I got back with the water he was asleep, and now my phone was charged, so I translated what he said. And it was, "You unplugged my life support." That's when I called the doctor...
Good news is, I got one sick selfie!
What do you call a Chinese rapist? Rae ping you.
What do you call a Native American with a boner?
A redwood.
What do you call a scared octopus?
A octopussy.
What do you call a white man in court?
SUPERIOR!
What do you call an autistic kid that’s good at art?
Artistic.
What do you call all down syndromes?
Twins.
What do you call a mariachi band sinking in Mayonnaise?
Cinco De Mayo.
What do you call a black comedian?
Dark Humor.
"I had raped the game young, you can call it statutory." - Kanye West in 2009 (Forever with Drake, Eminem, and Lil Wayne)