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Charity

I decided to make a charity bungee jump for the local disabled. It's called "Spastics on Elastics."

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  • Orphan

    Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.

    Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.

    I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.

    What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.

    Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.

    What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.

    What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.

    What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.

    What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.

    What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.

    What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.

    What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

    Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.

    What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.

    Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.

    What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.

    Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.

    Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.

    Memes

    Music

    I'm going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!

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  • Nut

    There is a new kind of jock strap; it only holds one nut. It is called a Trump supporter.

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  • Fish

    Things we all do:

    Call the Royal blue tang fish the "Dory fish," and the Clownfish "Nemo fish"! 🤣

    I do this too often!

    Panera Bread

    Mmmm, bread. I love Panera Bread.

    This is unrelated, but where I live, there is no Panera Bread. Y'know what that's called?

    No Panera Bread.

    Panera

    Ok guys, I have one last joke (for now).

    What do you call it when Panera is over?

    Panera end.

    Friend

    A friend called me a while back saying, "I have COVID.... I can't breathe, I really have a hard time breathing."

    I reply saying, "Dude, you need to work on your George Floyd jokes."

    Party

    What do you call a party planned by Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?

    A high school pill party.

    Politician

    Some of the most convincing people you'll ever listen to are born liars; usually they're called politicians.