Call jokes
What do you call two lesbians in a closet?
A liquor cabinet.
Me: Hey, how are you?
Depression: I'm doing fine. We are just looking for a home :3
Insomnia: Mommy, can we get a home?
Anxiety: Insomnia, wait for mommy to finish.
Depression: Anyway, here is my resume!
Me: Okie, thank you. Ok... mhmmm... WOW! Okie, this is a nice resume! (Didn't Read it...)
Depression: Also, I have two more friends that want to move in too!
Me: Ok, and their names?
Depression: Their names are: PTSD and Trauma!
Me: Ok, they seem fine (Doesn't know about them)
Depression: Okie, here is the money (a penny :(). Thank you, we will call you if we need anything.
Me: Ok, see you soon! :3
Me now hates my life. :)
The Annoying Orange called Donald Trump a copycat.
What do you call a steak that tastes bad?
A MISsteak.
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dinosnore!
Memes
Not mine, but still funny
What do you call a disabled person in a sauna?
Steamed veggies!
I got a phone call from a guy labeled "assassin" saying my life will end soon. I seriously doubt that he w- *gunshot*
What do you call suicidal Hitler?
Slitler.
What do you call a heterosexual man giving a brojob to another heterosexual man?
gay now, heterosexual later.
What do you call a sad strawberry?
A blueberry.
What do you call 2 homeless people throwing rocks at each other? "Pillow Fight!"
What do you call an animal that knows karate? Moose Lee 😊😁
What do you call a feminist? A Karen.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
I wouldn't call a Suicide Help-line even if my life depended on it.
When you cream pie a tardy hottie, it’s called a loaded potato. 🥴🦴💨🥔
Why don’t we just call blue balls a cummy ache?
What do you call a mouse with sneakers?
Squeakers!
Just accidentally emailed a porn link to a co-worker... So I emailed ten other co-workers the link and called it a virus.
what do you call a cow that fell?
Ground beef.