Call jokes
My girlfriend called me pedophile today.
Big word for a 12-year-old.
What do you call a magic owl?
HOOdini
The doctor said he had good news and bad news. The good news is that you have 24 hours to live. The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday.
What do you call a 100-year-old frog?
An old croak!
What do you call a ghost bee?
Boobees.
What do you call an arrow pointing the wrong way?
A Disap point ment.
Yo mama is so fat, when she saw the Titanic, she called it small.
Call me a bad economy with high interest rates and low spending, 'cause I'm in a great depression.
I prank called someone saying, "SON! IT'S ME, SON! I'M COMING FOR YOU!!!" My friend next to me asked who I was calling, and I said, "the orphanage."
Every time someone calls me fat, I get so depressed I cut myself... a piece of cake.
What do you call a dinosaur that loves sucking dino dick?
Sucks-alota-cocka-sorass.
What do you call a woman who aborted her quadruplets? A graveyard.
If it’s called the “living room,” why did my grandma die there?
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because no one will call them daddy.
What do you call a funny mountain?
Hill-arious.
What do you call a clever clock?
Clockwise.
What do you call getting gonorrhea from a disabled person?
A slow clap.
What do you call someone in a wheelchair being pushed by a cannibal?
A to-go order.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet?
A liquor cabinet.
Me: Hey, how are you?
Depression: I'm doing fine. We are just looking for a home :3
Insomnia: Mommy, can we get a home?
Anxiety: Insomnia, wait for mommy to finish.
Depression: Anyway, here is my resume!
Me: Okie, thank you. Ok... mhmmm... WOW! Okie, this is a nice resume! (Didn't Read it...)
Depression: Also, I have two more friends that want to move in too!
Me: Ok, and their names?
Depression: Their names are: PTSD and Trauma!
Me: Ok, they seem fine (Doesn't know about them)
Depression: Okie, here is the money (a penny :(). Thank you, we will call you if we need anything.
Me: Ok, see you soon! :3
Me now hates my life. :)